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What changes you would expect in 21st century

What changes you would expect in 21st century WyGE5
There is no doubt that 20th century ended with a lot of adventures inventions. As 21st century is on the verge to start with that a plethora of changes would be expected. I personally believe that there will be more advancement in the medical field and modes of transportations. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will elaborate my perspective with reasons and examples. First of all, I am a firm believer that in the coming years progress in the medical field will rocket sky high. As in 20th century we have seen a vast improvements in the medical field which was much greater than the 19th century. For instance, in 19th century it was never thought that heart will be replaceable and people suffering from the heart diseases usually will be saved in 20th century. Luckily, with the beginning of 20th century due to enormous amount of medical technology medical doctors comes up with the idea of replacing a human heart. Certainly because with the modern medical machinery in 20th century doctors were able to replace heart. As a result, a large number of people suffering from the heart diseases recovered from the dangerous heart disease. Considering, this invention in mind we can say that 21st century will bring more surprises for us and it might be possibility that all humans organs can be replaced. Particularly this heart replacement invention force me to think that 21st century will be more advanced medically. Additionally, the second important change with the start of 20th century would be in the transportation department. Undoubtedly, transportation system throughout the world has improved over the centuries. When we look back in previous centuries there are there are a lot of inventions happened in this field. Consider the example of bullet train in Japan at the end of 20th century. In 19th century, no one ever though about the bullet train. However, in 20th century, due to the improvement in this field engineers brought about this invention of bullet trains. This engineers in this field do not stop their work with the invention of bullet train. They also working on the project of undergound-water train in different areas of the world. One prime example of this project already under consideration between India, Pakistan and Dubai. Engineers are planning to deploy the rail track under water between these three countries. Some engineers believe that this project may practically possible in 20th century. Hence, this above consideration of invention of the under-water railway track leave me with the possibility of major technological improvement in this field. In conclusion, from the above-mentioned, discussion I can assume two major changes in the 20th century. First one is in the field of the medical and secondly is in the transportation.
There is no doubt that 20th century ended with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
adventures inventions.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
21st century is on the verge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with that a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. I
personally
believe that there will be more advancement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
. In the subsequent paragraphs, I will elaborate my perspective with reasons and examples.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I am a firm believer that in the coming years progress in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
will rocket
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
sky high
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
in 20th century we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a vast
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "improvement"?
improvements
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
which was much greater than the 19th century.
For instance
, in 19th century it was never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
will be replaceable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffering from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
diseases
usually
will
be saved
in 20th century. Luckily, with the beginning of 20th century due to enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of replacing a human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
.
Certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
machinery in 20th century doctors were able to replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
.
As a result
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suffering from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
diseases recovered from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
disease. Considering, this invention in mind we can say that 21st century will bring more surprises for us and it might be possibility that all humans organs can
be replaced
.
Particularly
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heart
replacement invention force me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that 21st century will be more advanced
medically
.

Additionally
, the second
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of 20th century would be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
department.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
system throughout the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centuries
.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
we look back in previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centuries
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "there are".
there are there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
inventions happened in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. Consider the example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
in Japan at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 20th century. In 19th century, no one ever though about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
.
However
, in 20th century, due to the improvement in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
brought about this invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
their work with the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bullet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
. They
also
working on the project of
Possible spelling mistake found.
undergound-water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of the world. One prime example of this project already under consideration between India, Pakistan and Dubai.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Engineers
are planning to deploy the rail
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
under water between these three countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineers
believe that this project may
practically
possible in 20th century.
Hence
, this above consideration of invention of the under-water railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
me with the possibility of major technological improvement in this field.

In conclusion
, from the above-mentioned, discussion I can assume two major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the 20th century.
First
one is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
and
secondly
is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
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IELTS essay What changes you would expect in 21st century

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
457 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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