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What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. dMAP
İn our world, most of young people are going abroad and study, live there to have a better life or some of them are choosing to stay in their hometowns. Everyone has really different opinions. Everyone has a right to choose wherever they want to live. But why would not we make our hometown more appealing for young people? İn my country, our major problem is not everyone has an equal right to study and going school. That's why most people if they have a chance to go to a different country for the best education choose to go. However, if the government makes a budget for each student per year every person can study more easily. İf the government fulfills some of student supplies or school payment who cant afford it they can have a chance to study without thinking about how they are going to afford it. İf the government, provide more scholarships to students or find a way to improve education conditions this country would become more aware and become more educated. The second problem we can solve is to make this country safer. Especially for women, they can not do whatever they want, wear whatever they want, say whatever they want, or whatever they want in this country. But we can change it with education. These days, woman's death is increasing depending of the man's thoughts. This is occurring by lack of education. We can make it a safer country for everyone if we put more effort to improve more education. Everything is about being aware, educated, smart, and getting a good family education. To sum up we can make this country a safer and better place for everyone with an education. With this, so many things or problems can be solved. Educational people mean safer country, safe country means everyone can do it whatever they want so that means a happy life, happy life can make this country more appealing for young people to live.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
our world, most of young p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eople
are going abroad and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ive
there to have a better life or s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ome
of them are choosing to stay in their hometowns.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Everyone
has
really
d
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ifferent
opinions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Everyone
has a right to choose wherever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ive.
B
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ut
why would not we m
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ake
our hometown more appealing for young p
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eople?


Possible spelling mistake found.
İn
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, our major problem is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
has an equal right to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and going school. That's why most pe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ople i
f they have a chance to go to a different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
choose to go. Ho
wever,
if the go
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
vernment m
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kes a
budget for each student per year every person can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
more
easily
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
İf
the gov
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ernment fu
lfills som
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
e of
student supplies or school payment who
Did you mean "can't" or "cannot"?
cant
afford it they can have a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
without thinking about how they are going to afford it.

Possible spelling mistake found.
İf
the gove
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rnment, pr
ovide more scholarships to students or find a way to improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
conditions this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would become more aware and become more educated.

The second problem we can solve is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thi
s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safer
. Espe
cially for
women, they can not do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whatever
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
, wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whatever
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
, say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whatever
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
, or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whatever
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
we
can chan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ge it
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. These days, woman's death is increasing
The verb 'to depend' requires the preposition '(up)on': "depending on".
depending
of the man'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
s t
houghts. This is occurring by lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. We can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
it
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
if we put more effort to impr
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ove mor
e
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Everything is about being aware, educated, smart, and getting a good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fam
ily education.

To sum up we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thi
s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safer
and better place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. With this, so m
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
an
y
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
thi
ngs or problems can
be solved
. Educational peop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
le mea
n
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
everyone
can do it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whatever
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
so t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ha
t means a happy life, happy life can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thi
s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
more appealing for young peop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
le to
live.
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IELTS essay What change would make your hometown more appealing to people your age? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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