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what can govermany wild animals have become endangered why has this happened

what can govermany wild animals have become endangered why has this happened eqoO
Today, many species of animals are becoming extinct for many reasons. For example, Asian bears have declined from 35000 in 2000 to merely 200 in 2020. This essay will describe the reasons why some animals are endangered and after that move on to consider what the government can do to deal with this issue. Mainly, humans have a grand part of making animals endangered. Firstly, the number of hunting have increased through the decades and people are more likely to hunt and fish in the wrong seasons. Secondly, sometimes humans change the environment of animals accidentally or purposely, that would cause many problems for both native and guest animals, such as limitations of food sources. For example, when humans brought some wolves to the river of Sarbaz in Iran, alligators had not enough food and got endangered during a decade. Finally, today's people are more likely to use fossil oil that has many problems for the environment, such as air pollution and global warming that could affect animals that live in the pole. The governments have an effective rule to save animals from extinction. Mainly, the government can set a number of rules to prohibit hunting or building a natural park to preserve animals from humans attack or even prepare food for them. Also, the government can encourage people to use green cars or ride bikes by setting a bike line or a good offer for those who use green cars to prevent air pollution and global warming. Many years ago, in China, when pandas were endangered, the government set a grand natural park for them to protect pandas and in the following try to prepare for them more food and also other special care, then today pandas are not endangered anymore. In conclusion, although people make negative effects on animals' lives, by hunting, changing their environment or pollution, the government can protect them from extinction by setting rules or preparing a good place for living there.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are becoming extinct for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
For example
, Asian bears have declined from 35000 in 2000 to
merely
200 in 2020. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
the reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
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endangered
and after that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on to consider what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can do to deal with this issue.

Mainly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have a grand part of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
.
Firstly
, the number of hunting have increased through the decades and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to hunt and fish in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
seasons.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the environment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
accidentally
or
purposely
, that would cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems for both native and guest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, such as limitations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
sources.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wolves to the river of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sarbaz
in Iran, alligators had not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
during a decade.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
fossil oil that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems for the environment, such as air pollution and global warming that could affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the pole.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have an effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from extinction.
Mainly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can set a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to prohibit hunting or building a natural park to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
attack or even prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for them.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
green cars or ride bikes by setting a bike line or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
offer for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
green cars to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
air pollution and global warming.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
years ago, in China, when pandas were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
set a grand natural park for them to protect pandas and in the following try to prepare for them more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
also
other special care, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
pandas are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
anymore.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on animals'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, by hunting, changing their environment or pollution, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can protect them from extinction by setting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
or preparing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place for living there.
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IELTS essay what can govermany wild animals have become endangered why has this happened

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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