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What can be done to encourage young people to become responsible

What can be done to encourage young people to become responsible wnrrE
Building a responsible person is a huge mission as young people of today are the youth of tomorrow, they are the future of their nation. This mission requires a cooperation between home and school. First, Building a responsible human is a big challenge that begins in the first years of their age. Parents are the first people the kid meet, child always imitate their parent's, though they are his first teacher. To build a responsible young person, Parents must teach their child to make small life choices for instance, to choose his clothes and his room desigs. Another good example for that parents could share life steps with child which school to go, type of sport, instrument, or hobby to practice. Second, School have a wonderful impact on children life, where they spend most of their day and make friends. School should share children in different to establish their systems, roles, and puishment. they have to be in direct contact with parents to be as one institution for each child as possible. Overall, building responsible young people are is a huge mutual responsibility between home and school.
Building a
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responsible
person is a huge mission as young
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people
of
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today
are the youth of tomorrow, they are the future of their nation. This mission requires a cooperation between home and school.

First
, Building a
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responsible
human is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
challenge that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
in the
first
years of their age.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the kid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
,
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child
always imitate their parent's, though they are his
first
teacher. To build a
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responsible
young person,
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Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
life choices
for instance
, to choose his clothes and his room
Possible spelling mistake found.
desigs
. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for that
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parents
could share life steps with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to go, type of sport, instrument, or hobby to practice.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
have a wonderful impact on children life, where they spend most of their day and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
should share children in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to establish their systems, roles, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
puishment
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be in direct contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to be as one institution for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as possible.

Overall
, building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are is a huge mutual responsibility between home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS essay What can be done to encourage young people to become responsible

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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