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What are the pros and cons of playing video games?

What are the pros and cons of playing video games? 8Q1k5
Well there is no doubt that nowadays video games become common in everywhere. Although many people say that video games is harmfull for childrens they countain play them by different advantages. On the one hand. Video games has a copy of advantages that people usually play. To illustrate people who usully play a logical video games his logical thinking becomes quicker and better. For example people who play a logical games such as chess or anything online with other people it improve his skills moreover people who play a video games such as find out items in game it imrove his looking as well. In addition to this the video games can help you to kill your time in a high spirits with your friends if you play video games together. Well as coin has two sides video games has a own drawbacks as well that old people dont recomend to childrens to play them. Firstly peopple who play video games a lot he takes a lot of harmfull shine for his eyesight. As if yiu look at the screen a lot it can be harm for your vision. As a result you can forget your eyes. In addition to this video games are net that people can not give up it as he loved it and he dont want to do anything without play this game. At this point he becomes lazy that he do nothing without playing video games so it is harmfull for children as they can be used to play this game and give up study as well. In conclusion we know that there are many positive and negative sides that people give and dont give an advice to play video games
Well there is no doubt that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
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games
become common in everywhere. Although
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many
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people
say that
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video
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games
is
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harmfull
for
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childrens
they
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countain
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play
them by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advantages.

On the one hand.
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Video
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games
has a copy of advantages that
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people
usually
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play
. To illustrate
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people
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who
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usully
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play
a logical
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video
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games
his logical thinking becomes quicker and better.
For example
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people
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who
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play
a logical
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "game"?
games
such as chess or anything online with other
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people
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
moreover
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people
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who
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play
a
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video
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games
such as find out items in game it
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imrove
his looking
as well
.
In addition
to this the
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video
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games
can
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help
you to kill your time in a high spirits with your friends if you
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play
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video
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games
together.

Well as coin has two sides
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video
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games
has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
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own
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "drawback"?
drawbacks
as well
that
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old
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people
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dont
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recomend
to
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childrens
to
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play
them.
Firstly
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peopple
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who
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play
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video
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games
a lot he takes
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a lot of
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harmfull
shine for his eyesight. As if
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yiu
look at the screen a lot it can be harm for your vision.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result you can forget your eyes.
In addition
to this
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video
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games
are net that
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people
can not
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give
up it as he
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loved
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
he
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dont
want to do anything without
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play
this game. At this point he becomes lazy that he do nothing without playing
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video
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games
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so
it is
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harmfull
for children as they can be
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used
to
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play
this game and
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give
up study
as well
.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, we".
conclusion we
know that there are
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many
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positive
and
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negative
sides that
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people
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give
and
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dont
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give
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "advice".
an advice
to
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play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
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IELTS essay What are the pros and cons of playing video games?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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