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What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society

What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society qkJdP
Aging population is a thought provocative. Some people believe that the disappearance of wars is the reason for aging population whereas others adhere that their better living environment medical care is conducive to this issue. My essay is going to analyze the possible effects of living longer. There are many people who have a long life expectancy that has benefits on the individual and the society. Firstly, they are forebears so they can have a lot of experience to help the country develop. Old people have learned the best quintessence of the traditional norms to perfect themselves. By dint of accessing glorious pasts of their country, they feel that they must have a duty to continue the tradition and pass it on to the next generation which makes the young train themselves to be devoted, patriotic and then young people become better and put the image of their country on the map. Secondly, this group of grow-ups can help the young take care of their baby, relieving parent’s worries of their children lacking in leisure activities. On the other hand, some people claim that the extended life of humans can have numerous downsides. The generation gap between the members of old people and youngsters is a culprit of conflict in the family. For example, old people are not into noisy and usually go to bed early in contrast to young people who have a different lifestyle. Moreover, because the population is increasing, it is difficult to solve work problems for everyone. Maybe they will have to face with population explosion which exerts deleterious impacts on the country's economy. In a nutshell, each idea has it owns value. Although aging population can develop the country, this issue could wreak havoc with the relationship between old people and youngsters.
Aging
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population
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
provocative.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the disappearance of wars is the reason for aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
whereas others adhere that their better living environment medical care is conducive to this issue. My essay is going to analyze the possible effects of living longer.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a long life expectancy that has benefits on the individual and the society.
Firstly
, they are forebears
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so
they can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
develop.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have learned the best quintessence of the traditional norms to perfect themselves. By dint of accessing glorious pasts of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they feel that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a duty to continue the tradition and pass it on to the
next
generation which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
train themselves to
be devoted
, patriotic and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become better and put the image of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
on the map.
Secondly
, this group of grow-ups can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
take care of their baby, relieving parent’s worries of their children lacking in leisure activities.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that the extended life of humans can have numerous downsides. The generation gap between the members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and youngsters is a culprit of conflict in the family.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not into noisy and
usually
go to bed early
in contrast
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lifestyle.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is increasing, it is difficult to solve work problems for everyone. Maybe they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
explosion which exerts deleterious impacts on the country's economy.

In a nutshell, each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
has it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
value. Although aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
can develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, this issue could wreak havoc with the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and youngsters.
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IELTS essay What are the possible effects of living long on an individual and on the whole society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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