Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

what are the advantages of government to place a tax on the junk food and fatty snacks?

what are the advantages of government to place a tax on the junk food and fatty snacks? GMWJm
Today, people prefer to buy junk foods because they assert that time is money. They neglect their health and consequences of eating fast foods like hamburger and pizza. Although some people may reject the idea of applying tax on junk foods, I firmly believe that fatty snacks can cause life-threatening diseases and we should consider them as toxins. First of all, foods which contain saturated fat are harmful. Scientists at Harvard University conducted a survey about fast foods and they showed that there is a direct significant correlation of SLE, a life threatening autoimmune disease, with fast foods. Based on this study, people after immigration to industrial countries such as United States and England were more vulnerable to SLE compared to control group which stayed in Middle East and eastern Asia. When they investigated their lifestyles, they understood that it is due to Trans oils in fast foods. This study shows us that junk foods can endanger our lives and if government place a tax on them, people would be motivated to use healthy foods. Moreover, government can use tax of the junk food for public health. Since the cost of hospitals and insurances are expensive, most people do not care about their health which can cause a lot of problems and costs later. If government spends this tax for prognosis of some kind of diseases like diabetes and high blood pressure, the rate of these diseases will decline tremendously. For example, two years ago, Japan placed tax on fatty snacks and spend its income for breast cancer diagnosis. It decreased the rate of breast cancer among Japanese population. So, the tax of junk food can improve public health as well. Furthermore, the youths do not regard to family and its relationships. They enjoy to go to restaurants and spend time with their friends or be alone. This taught can destroy families’ relationships and ruin their affections. For instance, my brother used to go to McDonald with his friends while my mother cooked delicious for launch and she waited for him more than two hours. When my mother understood he was out, she got depressed. As you can see, if people have to pay tax for junk foods, they prefer to return home and spend their time with families. To wrap up, despite some people strongly think fast foods have advantages, I advocate the attitude of applying tax on junk foods because it helps people to be healthier and if government spend its money on diagnosis of diseases, it would decline their prevalence. In addition, young people would pay attention to their families more and more.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they assert that time is money. They neglect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and consequences of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like hamburger and pizza. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may reject the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, I
firmly
believe that fatty snacks can cause life-threatening
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diseases and
we should consider them as toxins.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which contain saturated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
are harmful. Scientists at Harvard University conducted a survey about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
foods and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that there is a direct significant correlation of
Possible spelling mistake found.
SLE
, a life threatening autoimmune
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. Based on this study,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after immigration to industrial countries such
A determiner is probably missing here: "as the United States".
as United States
and England were more vulnerable to
Possible spelling mistake found.
SLE
compared to control group which stayed
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Middle East".
in Middle East
and eastern Asia. When they investigated their lifestyles, they understood that it is due to Trans oils in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. This study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can endanger our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
place a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
healthy foods.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Since the cost of hospitals and insurances are expensive, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not care about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
which can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems and costs later. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
for prognosis of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
like diabetes and high blood pressure, the rate of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
will decline
tremendously
.
For example
, two years ago, Japan placed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on fatty snacks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
its income for breast cancer diagnosis. It decreased the rate of breast cancer among Japanese population.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as well
.

Furthermore
, the youths do not regard to family and its relationships. They
The verb 'enjoy' is used with the gerund form: "enjoy going".
enjoy to go
to restaurants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
time with their friends or be alone. This taught can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
families’ relationships and ruin their affections.
For instance
, my brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go to McDonald with his friends while my mother cooked delicious for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
launch and
she waited for him more than two hours. When my mother understood he was out, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
depressed. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, they prefer to return home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their time with families.

To wrap up, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have advantages, I advocate the attitude of applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be healthier and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
its money on diagnosis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, it would decline their prevalence.
In addition
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would pay attention to their families more and more.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay what are the advantages of government to place a tax on the junk food and fatty snacks?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
436 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • what are the advantages of government to place a tax on the junk food and fatty snacks?