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What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a part – time job while being at school?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a part – time job while being at school? 3LLMl

To begin with, part-time jobs can assist college students in becoming more independent from their parents in finance so it is one of the obvious merits why undergraduates choose to work for a part-time job, which can help them ease the financial burden for their parents. For instance, university fees are currently increasing so some of the underprivileged cannot cover the total expenses. By working part time, they can earn other wage to support their study or occasional splurges. On the flip side, a noteworthy disadvantage of having a part-time job is that undergraduates may not strike a balance between working hours and study time. To be specific, many college students aspire to lift the financial burden by spending their leisure time making as much money as possible instead of taking part in extracurricular activities at school. As a result, fatigue or lack of preparation for the next day’s academic activities would be inevitable consequences that they have to face, potentially leading to their poor academic performances

To This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiatecommence
begin
 with, part-time jobs can assist college students in becoming more The usual collocation for "independent" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "independent of"?independent of
independent from
 their parents in finance This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 it is one of the obvious merits why undergraduates choose to work for a part-time job, which can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 them This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :alleviate
ease
 the financial burden for their parents. For instance
, university fees are currently
 increasing This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?some
some of the
 underprivileged cannot cover the total expenses. By working This word is normally spelled with hyphen.part-time
part time
, they can earn other wage to support their study or occasional splurges. On the flip side, a noteworthy disadvantage of having a part-time job is that undergraduates may not strike a balance between working hours and study time. To be specific, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 college students aspire to lift the financial burden by spending their leisure time making as much money as possible instead
 of taking part in extracurricular activities at school. As a result
, fatigue or lack of preparation for the next
 day’s academic activities would be inevitable consequences that they This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ought to
have to
 face, potentially
 leading to their poor academic Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphperformances.performances!performances?performances:performances,performances;
performances