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we cannot help everyone in the world that needs helps, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.10

Some people believe that we should not give a helping hand to other nations as long as there are problems in our society. However, I disagree with this statement because I believe that we should try to help as many people as possible. On the one hand, I accept that we should help poorer countries both financially and socially. This is because there are many disadvantaged countries and a lot of citizens with numerous disabilities in the world today. Take Africa for example, there are a lot of people mainly children who have not got anything to consume and survive. Many countries supply them with various resources such as food, drink, and clothes. As a consequence, we can save them from famine and death. If they reject to give a helping hand, African people may become extinct. On the other hand, economy-boomed countries should support poorer nations financially. This is because they do not have any resourses to exchange in order to make a profit. Also, there a lot of world organization such as World Vision and United Nations that are intended to support poorer nations with any kind of resourses. Furthermore, worldwide donation to an international charity might have a much greater impact than helping individually. As a result, we can maintain social skills among other countries. To conclude, I believe that even if we are not able to help everyone in the world who are in need, it is wrong to only care for people nearby where we are living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that we should not give a helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
as long as there are problems in our society.
However
, I disagree with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that we should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as possible.

On the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, I accept that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
both
financially
and
socially
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
citizens with numerous disabilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. Take Africa
for example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mainly
children who have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
anything to consume and survive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
supply them with various resources such as food, drink, and clothes. As a consequence, we can save them from famine and death. If they reject to give a helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may become extinct.

On the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, economy-boomed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should support poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
financially
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have any
Possible spelling mistake found.
resourses
to exchange in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit.
Also
, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
organization such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Vision and United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
that
are intended
to support poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
with any kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
resourses
.
Furthermore
, worldwide donation to an international charity might have a much greater impact than helping
individually
.
As a result
, we can maintain social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
among other countries.

To conclude
, I believe that even if we are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everyone in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
who are in need, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
care for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nearby where we are living.
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IELTS essay 3) We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our communities and countries. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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