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we are becoming increasingly dependent on computer based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computer?

we are becoming increasingly dependent on computer based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computer? qVkJd
In today's era everyone of us are taking help of computer for our work and without it we assume as it is impossible. It is difficult to predict the use of computer in future. It will be negative impact to rely completely on computer. To commence with, computer had made our life so easy by working in each field very comfortably without making error or taking break. In future computer will play major role in the human life by providing more amenities and easier to operate. In schools and colleges there computer will be superseded by book and it will make students studies more easy and convenient. In recent newspaper in one of the article about computer technology surprised me as it was written, in libraries they are thinking to put computers instead of books so it people do not use to search whole libraries to get one book they can easily go through on computer and search book and it will provide all information about it and give all questions answers whatever they want. I believe that it will negative impact to rely on computer. Firstly it will affect our eyes sending more time on computer it will detriment to eyes research shown by some of the doctors. Secondly relying on computer ofcourse it will make our work easier but on another side there will be not mental growth human because they will not put any load on their mind or think by themselves. Finally if there would be more computer use consequence to that it will obstacles in developing countries more people would be jobless. In conclusion, in my prediction computer will play major role in future but it also has many negative impact on mental growth and also affect to eyes.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
of us are taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of computer for our work and without
Consider adding a comma here.
it
we assume as it is impossible. It is difficult to predict the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. It will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact to rely completely on computer. To commence with, computer had made our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy by working in each field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortably
without making error or taking break. In future computer will play major role in the human life by providing more amenities and easier to operate. In schools and colleges there computer will
be superseded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
students studies more easy and convenient.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
recent newspaper in one of the article about computer technology surprised me as it
was written
, in libraries they are thinking to put computers
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
Did you mean "peoples"?
people
do not
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
search whole libraries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
they can
easily
go through on computer and search
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
and it will provide all information about it and give all questions answers whatever they want. I believe that it will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact to rely on computer.
Firstly
it will affect our eyes sending more time on computer it
The word 'detriment' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will detriment
to eyes research shown by
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
doctors.
Secondly
relying on computer
Possible spelling mistake found.
ofcourse
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our work easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on another side there will be not mental growth human
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will not put any load on their mind or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by themselves.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
if there would be more computer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "to". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence to
that it
The word 'obstacles' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will obstacles
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be jobless.
In conclusion
, in my prediction computer will play major role in future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on mental growth and
also
affect to eyes.
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IELTS essay we are becoming increasingly dependent on computer based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computer?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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