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We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers? QeDP
Many people believe, that strugle against crime is being anought effectively. However, I agree with others who suppose that we have to strengt our faight again crime. On the one hand, it is obviously, that it is almost safie on the strets now. Everywhere is security video cameras. Every shop has an alarm signalization. Every people have smartphone, therefore in case of any violation they can call to police and make photo and video for evidence of the crime. Because of this, level of street crimes sufficiently slowdown. As for me, for all my live, I have not been robbered, and I therefore I generally support what the gatherment do against crime. On the other hand, we are stil afrade to alow our litle kids to play outdoors. I have a 9 years old son. Every day me, and my wife pass him to the door of his school and back. There are new tipe of crime arisen. For example, two year ago, some criminal used to call to my 80 years old mother, and inform her that she can get a compensation about her pension from the government. For this, she has to transfer some amout of money to his bank account. My mother had already transfered the money. We complained to police, but they didn't help us. If she had known about this kind of crime, she would not have transfered the money. But government did not informed her. In conclusion, I would like to repeat, that despite of what the government do against criminal, and appearance of new crime protection methods, like security video cameras, I believe we have to enforce our strugle against crime. So nobody can harm our kids and old parents.
Many
people
believe, that
strugle
against
crime
is being
anought
effectively
.
However
, I
agree
with others who suppose that we
have to
strengt
our
faight
again crime.

On the one hand, it is
obviously
, that it is almost
safie
on the
strets
now
. Everywhere is security video cameras. Every shop has an alarm signalization.
Every
people
have smartphone,
therefore
in case of any violation they can call to police and
make
photo and video for evidence of the
crime
.
Because of this
, level of street
crimes
sufficiently
slowdown. As for me, for all my
live
, I have not been
robbered
, and I
therefore
I
generally
support what the
gatherment
do against crime.

On the other hand
, we are
stil
afrade
to
alow
our
litle
kids to play outdoors. I have a 9 years
old
son. Every day me, and my wife pass him to the door of his school and back. There are new
tipe
of
crime
arisen.
For example
, two year ago,
some
criminal
used
to call to my 80 years
old
mother, and inform her that she can
get
a compensation about her pension from the
government
. For this, she
has to
transfer
some
amout
of money to his bank account. My mother had already
transfered
the money. We complained to police,
but
they didn't
help
us. If she had known about this kind of
crime
, she would not have
transfered
the money.
But
government
did not
informed
her.

In conclusion
, I would like to repeat, that
despite of
what the
government
do against criminal, and appearance of new
crime
protection methods, like security video cameras, I believe we
have to
enforce our
strugle
against
crime
.
So
nobody can harm our kids and
old
parents.
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IELTS essay We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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