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“Violent video games cause behavior problems.” Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

“Violent video games cause behavior problems. ” XD8d8
For years, violent video games have been a prominent genre in the video game industry, and as the popularity of violent video games grew, a hot debate wonder if violent video games had a negative impact on human’s behavior, potentially leading to teen aggression. I completely believe that violent video games contribute to behavioral issues such as increased aggression manner and imitation of violent conduct in real life. Firstly, violent video games encourage people to be more aggressive. Because of the competitive nature of video games, we become more ambitious and aggressive. People will grow irritated and fidget if they lose a game combat several times. To be more specific, video games have been shown to impact a person's aggressiveness through several tests and common sense, Richard Ryan, a motivational psychologist at the University of Rochester said. Secondly, violent video games encourage people to imitate aggressive behavior in real life. The level of crime committed by people who spend a lot of time for playing violent game would rapidly grow up. It is well known that children, especially young children, are good at copying what they see. As a result, the abuse and cruelty they witness while playing video games will be recorded in an immature brain. Those children may attempt to imitate a robbery or burglary. Furthermore, studies have established that witnessing someone being tortured or engaging in criminal behavior causes mental illness and a high rate of suicide attempts. Nonetheless, some claim that playing violent games is only entertainment, even enhancing creativity and problem-solving abilities; assisting youngsters in making friends via interaction; and sharing delight and competitiveness. These things are only truly useful when players understand how to manage their playing time. In conclusion, violence in video games can cause serious problem including increased aggressiveness and the copying of violent behavior in real life. Therefore, rather of playing violent games, we should play healthy games.
For years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have been a prominent genre in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game industry, and as the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
grew, a hot debate wonder if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on human’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
,
potentially
leading to teen aggression. I completely believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
contribute to behavioral issues such as increased aggression manner and imitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
conduct in real life.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
encourage
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people
to be more aggressive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the competitive nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, we become more ambitious and aggressive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will grow irritated and fidget if they lose a game combat several times. To be more specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
been shown
to impact a person's aggressiveness through several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and common sense, Richard Ryan, a motivational psychologist at the University of Rochester said.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to imitate aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
in real life. The level of crime committed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
game would
rapidly
grow up. It is well known that children,
especially
young children, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at copying what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
As a result
, the abuse and cruelty they witness while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will
be recorded
in an immature brain. Those children may attempt to imitate a robbery or burglary.
Furthermore
, studies have established that witnessing someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
being
tortured or engaging in criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
causes mental illness and a high rate of suicide attempts.

Nonetheless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
entertainment, even enhancing creativity and problem-solving abilities; assisting youngsters in making friends via interaction; and sharing delight and competitiveness. These things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
truly
useful when players understand how to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
time.

In conclusion
, violence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can cause serious problem including increased aggressiveness and the copying of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
in real life.
Therefore
,
rather
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, we should play healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.

IELTS essay “Violent video games cause behavior problems. ”

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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