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Globalization has positive impact on economies.To what extent do you agree.

Globalization has positive impact on economies. BYpEj
World is becoming a global village, owing to which globalization is peeking up pace. Some people believe that it has positive impact on economy. I partially agree with this statement due to enhancement in international trade and drop in local business. Commencing with some of the points which impetes the economy of the country. First and foremost point is that i it enhances the trade worldwide by importing and exporting goods from other countries. However, it helps people to become familiar with international people owing to which there is enhancement in cultural harmony. Moreover, worldwide trade also increases GDP of the country as new innovations like mobile phones also helps people to improve their standard of livings. Apart from this, there are many industries which provide employment to many people as a consequency of which unemployment rate of the country drops. Nevertheless, one should not neglect the site of the fact that it threatens to the the local business, use of imported products decreased the demand of local goods. Furthermore, construction of zones leads to exploitation of natural resources which is detrimental for the environment. Sometimes, number of imported goods are more than the goods exported which results in disequillibrium in BOP. To recapitulate, in my opininion there are ample of advantages of globalization but threat to local market is the major concern as it would affect the lives of local businessmen and the country should import goods equal to the exports.
World is becoming a global village, owing to which globalization is peeking up pace.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on economy. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement due to enhancement in international trade and drop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business. Commencing with
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
points which
Possible spelling mistake found.
impetes
the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
First
and foremost point is that i it enhances the trade worldwide by importing and exporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become familiar with international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
owing to which there is enhancement in cultural harmony.
Moreover
, worldwide trade
also
increases GDP of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as new innovations like mobile phones
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their standard of livings. Apart from this, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries which provide employment to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
consequency
of which unemployment rate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
drops.
Nevertheless
, one should not neglect the site of the fact that it threatens to
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
business,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of imported products decreased the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
Furthermore
, construction of zones leads to exploitation of natural resources which is detrimental for the environment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, number of imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
exported which results in
Possible spelling mistake found.
disequillibrium
in BOP. To recapitulate, in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opininion
there are ample of advantages of globalization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
market is the major concern as it would affect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
businessmen and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should import
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
equal to the exports.

IELTS essay Globalization has positive impact on economies.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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