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Video games and teenagers

Video games and teenagers 8QxBk
Technology has invaded our world tremendously since the beginning of the millennium. Developers have invented outstanding devices such as phones, computers, and apparatuses to facilitate our lives, not to mention the video games we are experiencing nowadays. These games, however, are becoming trendy among teenagers. And with the increasing of these entertainment tools, some parents started to feel worried and mortified about their children because they considered these games hazardous, especially that teens are becoming obsessive. While others think they are beneficial, innocuous, and can contribute positively to a child’s mind. I firmly believe that video games have infinite negative effects and are the number one reason for damaging our kid's brains for three main reasons. First, playing computer games, undoubtedly, leads them to become violent due to loads of blood scenes that a child might get exposed to. Moreover, juveniles developed perilous behavior that impacted clearly on our community, according to an Italian study that was conducted in 2018, which concluded that 95% of children who spent numerous hours playing games either on computers, phones, or any other cutting-edged devices had unlimited behavioral disorders when they grew up. Furthermore, it added and asserted that those teenagers suffered enormously to rectify their conduct. As a result, they advised all parents to steer clear of buying such machines. Second, children who play electronic games receive awful results in their schools because they spend various hours wasting their time without considering their future. A statistic in Damascus, Syria in 2020 showed that all teenagers, without exception, were suffering in their studies because of playing excessively and irrationally. The study also warned every parent on the importance of watching and following the new generation, so they won’t fail their classes. In addition, they proclaimed that in some cases, a few people might become addicted and lunatics. Third, such games have, unquestionably, atrocious outcomes on the youth’s minds and bodies, for a lot of doctors from different countries conducted an experiment on 2588 children between 13 and 17; they made them play on different equipment including PlayStations, Xbox, and laptops. They have even provided them with their requirements. For instance, rocking chairs, new and powerful devices, and food. Surprisingly, weeks later, doctors found that almost 70% of them experienced boredom, depression, and a desire to commit suicide. Besides, most of them had back and neck pains. Thus, scientists stated that youth should never be allowed to act freely. On the contrary, we should take advantage of their spare time with useful ideas. For example, my 15-year-old brother used to waste his time on the computer all day and night, but, thankfully, he is taking English and Spanish courses now, and he is one of the top-notch students. To sum up, albeit spending little time playing video games is fun, sitting for an exaggerated number of hours can lead to severe damage physically and mentally; therefore, we should control and limit our beloved children for all the aforementioned reasons.
Technology has invaded our world
tremendously
since the beginning of the millennium. Developers have invented outstanding devices such as phones, computers, and apparatuses to facilitate our
lives
, not to mention the video
games
we are experiencing nowadays. These
games
,
however
, are becoming trendy among
teenagers
. And with the increasing of these entertainment tools,
some
parents
started
to feel worried and mortified about their
children
because
they considered these
games
hazardous,
especially
that teens are becoming obsessive. While others
think
they are beneficial, innocuous, and can contribute
positively
to a child’s mind. I
firmly
believe that video
games
have infinite
negative
effects and are the number one reason for damaging our kid's brains for three main reasons.

First
,
playing
computer
games
,
undoubtedly
, leads them to become violent due to loads of blood scenes that a child might
get
exposed to.
Moreover
, juveniles developed perilous behavior that impacted
clearly
on our community, according to an Italian study that
was conducted
in 2018, which concluded that 95% of
children
who spent numerous hours
playing
games
either on computers, phones, or any other cutting-edged devices had unlimited behavioral disorders when they grew up.
Furthermore
, it
added
and asserted that those
teenagers
suffered
enormously
to rectify their conduct.
As a result
, they advised all parents to steer
clear
of buying such machines.

Second,
children
who play electronic
games
receive awful results in their schools
because
they spend various hours wasting their
time
without considering their future. A statistic in Damascus, Syria in 2020
showed
that all
teenagers
, without exception, were suffering in their studies
because
of
playing
excessively
and
irrationally
. The study
also
warned every parent on the importance of watching and following the new generation,
so
they won’t fail their classes.
In addition
, they proclaimed that in
some
cases, a few
people
might become addicted and lunatics.

Third, such
games
have,
unquestionably
, atrocious outcomes on the youth’s minds and bodies, for
a lot of
doctors from
different
countries conducted an experiment on 2588
children
between 13 and 17; they made them play on
different
equipment including
PlayStations
, Xbox, and laptops. They have even provided them with their requirements.
For instance
, rocking chairs, new and powerful devices, and food.
Surprisingly
, weeks later, doctors found that almost 70% of them experienced boredom, depression, and a desire to commit suicide.
Besides
, most of them had back and neck pains.
Thus
, scientists stated that youth should never be
allowed
to act
freely
.
On the contrary
, we should take advantage of their spare
time
with useful
ideas
.
For example
, my 15-year-
old
brother
used
to waste his
time
on the computer all day and night,
but
,
thankfully
, he is taking English and Spanish courses
now
, and he is one of the top-notch students.

To sum up, albeit spending
little
time
playing
video
games
is fun, sitting for an exaggerated number of hours can lead to severe damage
physically
and mentally;
therefore
, we should control and limit our beloved
children
for all the aforementioned reasons.
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IELTS essay Video games and teenagers

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
494 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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