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Using money for all 65-year old people would be good use for government teaching computer skill. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Using money for all 65-year old people would be good use for government teaching computer skill. Wy8Oa
With the recent technological developments such as computers and the Internet, our lives have changed dramatically including senior generation. Although there are a couple of benefits of teaching computer skill for elderly people, I insist that spending the government's money for them to teach computer skill is waste. It is true that there are some benefits to teaching computer skills for seniors. One main advantage of this is that they have more option in their daily lives. If elderly people can use the internet, their lives become convenient because they can easily access to purchase objects as well as find communities. For example, my grandfather who has a gait problem used to go shopping to actual stores but after acquiring internet skill, he can buy whatever he wants even it is heavy products like water. However, I believe that the government should use its budget on other important use rather than teaching computer skill for seniors. As aging, people are more likely to suffer from diseases such as diabetes and cancer. It is vital to treat these physical difficulties with receiving some help from public money because the cost of treatment is extremely expensive. Therefore, if seniors cannot afford to pay the treatment fee, they cannot get enough treatment and if it is the worst they lose their lives. In conclusion, while it is true that some elderly people benefit from computer skill from the government, I claim that government should spend money on medical cost because this is more financially helpful for all of the senior citizens.
With the recent technological developments such as computers and the Internet, our
lives
have
changed
dramatically
including
senior
generation. Although there are a couple of benefits of teaching computer
skill
for elderly
people
, I insist that spending the
government
's money for them to teach computer
skill
is waste.

It is true that there are
some
benefits to teaching computer
skills
for
seniors
. One main advantage of this is that they have more option in their daily
lives
. If elderly
people
can
use
the internet, their
lives
become convenient
because
they can
easily
access to
purchase
objects
as well
as find communities.
For example
, my grandfather who has a gait problem
used
to go shopping to actual stores
but
after acquiring internet
skill
, he can
buy
whatever he wants even it is heavy products like water.

However
, I believe that the
government
should
use
its budget on other
important
use
rather
than teaching computer
skill
for
seniors
. As aging,
people
are more likely to suffer from diseases such as diabetes and cancer. It is vital to treat these physical difficulties with receiving
some
help
from public money
because
the cost of treatment is
extremely
expensive.
Therefore
, if
seniors
cannot afford to pay the treatment fee, they cannot
get
enough
treatment and if it is the worst they lose their
lives
.

In conclusion
, while it is true that
some
elderly
people
benefit from computer
skill
from the
government
, I claim that
government
should spend money on medical cost
because
this is more
financially
helpful for
all of the
senior
citizens.
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IELTS essay Using money for all 65-year old people would be good use for government teaching computer skill.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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