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Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school-leavers in most countries. How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today?

In most countries the people who have completed their school level are suffering to get job. I totally agree with this statement, as well as that, they are facing a number of issues such as getting marriage and health caring. Obtaining job-offer after schooling is an obsession to huge number of youth, this is due to many reasons. The most considerable one is that the number of graduates is much more than the vacancies, that is to say, it would be so difficult to had work opportunities, unless government took some remedial measures. To illustrate, a recent study by University of London showed that %70 percentage of school-finishers are jobless. This kind of data explain how unemployment rate is high among the youngster.
In most countries the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have completed their school level are suffering to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
as well
as that, they are facing a number of issues such as getting marriage and health caring.

Obtaining job-offer after schooling is an obsession to huge number of youth, this is due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. The most considerable one is that the number of graduates is much more than the vacancies,
that is
to say, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
difficult to had work opportunities, unless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedial measures. To illustrate, a recent study by University of London
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that %70 percentage of school-finishers are jobless. This kind of data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how unemployment rate is high among the youngster.
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IELTS essay Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school-leavers in most countries. How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
123 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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