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TPO OG2 independent agree or not young people enjoy life more than older people do

TPO OG2 independent agree or not young people enjoy life more than older people do 15m8L
Modern humans have to always do their best to develop themselves in a variety of things which can be hard for some of them as they may not enjoy their lives. In this context, there are mutually exclusive ideas regarding whether young generation enjoy their lives more or elderly ones do. From my point of view, I am inclined to the latter notion in spite of the fact that the former has more aficionados among people. My answer to this debating bone of contention is twofold. In the following, the rationale behind it will be elaborated by the most outstanding, solid proofs. The first and foremost reason which is worth mentioning is that old people have experienced almost everything in their lives. They have had many ups and downs, so they mostly do not regret anything. Moreover, they passed the hard times of working for long hours and undergoing various stresses of finding a suitable, lovely mate or having a happy family and kids. This will positively affect the satisfaction level of their lives. As an illustration, my uncle, Farhad, had lived in USA for 20 years before he came back to his motherland, Iran. He earned money as much as he could; he experienced working in gas stations for night shifts, albeit enthusiastically. He met his wife in the United States and became the breadwinner of the family. In a nutshell, he did whatever he could to develop his life. Nowadays, he is not worried at all, just sitting in a corner and supervising his two boys helping them to become successful in their lives by sharing his experiences. The second and equally far-reaching explanation to bear in mind is that old people generally have more money than youngsters insomuch as they have worked relatively more than the second group. As money is a critical element of being happy, this generation benefits more from this asset. To put it into a more vivid picture, researchers of the department of tourism management in RMIT university, a renowned knowledge institute in Australia, have conducted a survey of Turkey's tourists. They realized that most of the visitors of this country have an average age of 65. This proves that these people have enough money visiting other countries. In other words, the older a person is, the more money they have for spending on hobbies, such as becoming a tourist. Moreover, those scholars have predicted that the rate of these visitors will have increased by the end of 2050, mainly because more people will have retired. In conclusion, taking all the aforementioned rationalizations into account, I am prone to this belief that old people enjoy their lives more in comparison with younger ones although there are some exceptions which can be excluded from the general rule. To recapitulate my opinions, these people not only have worked as hard as they could and now are just relaxing but also they generally have more money which they can spend for diverse hobbies, like travelling around the world.
Modern humans
have to
always do their best to develop themselves in a variety of things which can be
hard
for
some
of them as they may not enjoy their
lives
. In this context, there are
mutually
exclusive
ideas
regarding whether young generation enjoy their
lives
more or elderly ones do. From my point of view, I
am inclined
to the latter notion
in spite of
the fact that the former has more aficionados among
people
. My answer to this debating bone of contention is twofold. In the following, the rationale behind it will
be elaborated
by the most outstanding, solid proofs.

The
first
and foremost reason which is worth mentioning is that
old
people
have experienced almost everything in their
lives
. They have had
many
ups and downs,
so
they
mostly
do not regret anything.
Moreover
, they passed the
hard
times of working for long hours and undergoing various
stresses
of finding a suitable, lovely mate or having a happy family and kids. This will
positively
affect the satisfaction level of their
lives
. As an illustration, my uncle,
Farhad
, had
lived
in USA
for 20 years
before
he came back to his motherland, Iran. He earned
money
as much as he could; he experienced working in gas stations for night shifts, albeit
enthusiastically
. He met his wife in the United States and became the breadwinner of the family. In a nutshell, he did whatever he could to develop his life. Nowadays, he is not worried at all,
just
sitting in a corner and supervising his two boys helping them to become successful in their
lives
by sharing his experiences.

The second and
equally
far-reaching explanation to bear in mind is that
old
people
generally
have more
money
than youngsters insomuch as they have worked
relatively
more than the second group. As
money
is a critical element of being happy, this generation benefits more from this asset. To put it into a more vivid picture, researchers of the department of tourism management in
RMIT
university, a renowned knowledge institute in Australia, have conducted a survey of Turkey's tourists. They realized that most of the visitors of this country have an average age of 65. This proves that these
people
have
enough
money
visiting other countries.
In other words
, the older a person is, the more
money
they have for spending on hobbies, such as becoming a tourist.
Moreover
, those scholars have predicted that the rate of these visitors will have increased by the
end
of 2050,
mainly
because
more
people
will have retired.

In conclusion
, taking all the aforementioned rationalizations into account, I am prone to this belief that
old
people
enjoy their
lives
more
in comparison
with younger ones although there are
some
exceptions which can
be excluded
from the general
rule
. To recapitulate my opinions, these
people
not
only
have worked as
hard
as they could and
now
are
just
relaxing
but
also
they
generally
have more
money
which they can spend for diverse hobbies, like travelling around the world.
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IELTS essay TPO OG2 independent agree or not young people enjoy life more than older people do

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
502 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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