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TPO 28 About Peary reach to the North Pole

TPO 28 About Peary reach to the North Pole E36q3
The reading and the lecture both have conflicting opinions about Peary's reach the North Pole in 1909. The author strongly postulates that Peary actually reached the North pole and provided three arguments to support this claim. On the other hand, the lecturer casts doubts on each of the claims made by the author presented in the reading. He is of the opinion that there are no evidence that Peary reached to the North pole and thinks that the claims are not convincing. First of all, The author argues that a committee was put together by the National Geographic that was instructed to conduct a deep findings of Peary's records and items. However, the professor refutes this by mentioning that it is true that the National Geographic set up a committee for more investigations of Peary's records but that committee was almost composed of Peary's close friends who contributed large funds for Peary's trip to the North Pole. Moreover, committee did not record any diligent records on this. Thus, the committee was not trustworthy to support evidence for Pear's reaching to the North Pole. Secondly, another evidence provides that Peary reached the North Pole in 37 days after setting out of Ellesmere Island. In fact, Tom Avery used the same kind of dogsled as Peary had. Nonetheless, the lecturer strongly delineates that Avery was different from Peary in many ways. He explains that Avery took less food with him and most of his food was dropped by the airplane. Also, weather conditions were suitable at Avery's time unlike Peary. Finally, the author claims that there were photographs taken by Peary which really support that he did reach to the North Pole. In other words, measuring the shadows in Peary's photographs makes it practical to calculate the sun's position in the North Pole. The speaker in the listening counters these indications by insisting that photographs do not prove anything. It is not possible without measuring the sun's position very precisely, this is not the exact position. Furthermore, those fizzy, unfocused photographs faded over time. Shadows can not be calculated to use accuracy of sun's position. Therefore, it clearly does not tell that Peary reached to the North Pole.
The reading and the lecture both have conflicting opinions about Peary's reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
in 1909. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
strongly
postulates that Peary actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pole
and provided three arguments to support this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claim
.
On the other hand
, the lecturer casts doubts on each of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claims
made by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
presented in the reading. He is of the opinion that there are no evidence that Peary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pole
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claims
are not convincing.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
argues that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committee
was put
together by the National Geographic that
was instructed
to conduct a deep
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "finding"?
findings
of Peary's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
and items.
However
, the professor refutes this by mentioning that it is true that the National Geographic set up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committee
for more investigations of Peary's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committee
was almost composed of Peary's close friends who contributed large funds for Peary's trip to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committee
did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
record
any diligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
records
on this.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
committee
was not trustworthy to support evidence for Pear's reaching to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
Pole.

Secondly
, another evidence provides that Peary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
in 37 days after setting out of Ellesmere Island. In fact, Tom Avery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the same kind of dogsled as Peary had. Nonetheless, the lecturer
strongly
delineates that Avery was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from Peary in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that Avery took less food with him and most of his food
was dropped
by the airplane.
Also
, weather conditions were suitable at Avery's time unlike Peary.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
claims
that there were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photographs
taken by Peary which
really
support that he did reach to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
.
In other words
, measuring the shadows in Peary's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photographs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it practical to calculate the sun's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
. The speaker in the listening counters these indications by insisting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photographs
do not prove anything. It is not possible without measuring the sun's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precisely
, this is not the exact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
.
Furthermore
, those fizzy, unfocused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
photographs
faded over time. Shadows can not
be calculated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
accuracy of sun's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
.
Therefore
, it
clearly
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
that Peary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pole
.
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IELTS essay TPO 28 About Peary reach to the North Pole

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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