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Topic: Some animals are now disappearing. What is the reason for this, what should government or individual do to save them.

Topic: Some animals are now disappearing. What is the reason for this, what should government or individual do to save them. N38Km
It is true that animals' lives all around the world have been on the brink of extinction over the recent years. This is commonly occuring mainly becouse of natural periphery descents and human activities. In order to preserve them, I think, there should be a lot tobe done by both individuals and governmental bodies precisely. Extreme weather conditions say precipitation, drought, famine are widely acknowledged as a contributing factors for animals to be in menace. As a result of such phenomenon, animals can no longer support sustainable habitat in particular area; annual migration of birds from north to south clear for all to see. Take one such catastrophe among animals in Nort Africa in 2002, in which year significant number of animals were died due to long lasted drought. It is, therefore, suggested for authorities to carry out some constructive campaigns (zoos and wildlife sanctuaries) in favor of protecting endangered species. Human activities are also demonstrated one further compelling factors for animals' extinction. In recent years, some species have either been made extinct or become threatened due to hunting, deforestation and dumping. While the introduction of guns resulted the rise in hunting and smuggling among people for commercial purposes apart from provision of food and clothing, cutting trees and laying waste to water have ultimately caused homelessness for significant number of birds and contaminated water for sea creatures. Had it not been for these, many more animals would have survived. In order to mitigate these problems, government should confine hunting among individuals strictly and even with prison, meanwhile, implementing laws and procedures for industries' career paths should also be taken into account. Accordingly, it is said for humans, if it is possible, to build nests for birds and help to clean-up water from waste. To conclude, animals are likely to be victim of these outlined global issues and even some species will disappear. These issues are by no mean insurmountable if both governments and individuals address these on time as given remedies.
It is true that animals'
lives
all around the world have been on the brink of extinction over the recent years. This is
commonly
occuring
mainly
becouse
of natural periphery descents and human activities. In order to preserve them, I
think
, there should be a lot
tobe
done by both individuals and governmental bodies
precisely
.

Extreme weather conditions say precipitation, drought, famine are
widely
acknowledged as a contributing factors for
animals
to be in menace.
As a result
of such phenomenon,
animals
can no longer support sustainable habitat
in particular
area; annual migration of birds from north to south
clear
for all to
see
. Take one such catastrophe among
animals
in
Nort
Africa in 2002, in which year significant number of
animals
were
died
due to long lasted drought. It is,
therefore
, suggested for authorities to carry out
some
constructive campaigns (zoos and wildlife sanctuaries) in favor of protecting endangered species.

Human activities are
also
demonstrated one
further
compelling factors for animals' extinction. In recent years,
some
species have either
been made
extinct or become threatened due to hunting, deforestation and dumping. While the introduction of guns resulted the rise in hunting and smuggling among
people
for commercial purposes apart from provision of food and clothing, cutting trees and laying waste to water have
ultimately
caused homelessness for significant number of birds and contaminated water for sea creatures. Had it not been for these,
many
more
animals
would have survived. In order to mitigate these problems,
government
should confine hunting among individuals
strictly
and even with prison, meanwhile, implementing laws and procedures for industries' career paths should
also
be taken
into account.
Accordingly
, it
is said
for humans, if it is possible, to build nests for birds and
help
to clean-up water from waste.

To conclude
,
animals
are likely to be victim of these outlined global issues and even
some
species will disappear. These issues are by no mean insurmountable if both
governments
and individuals address these on time as
given
remedies.
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IELTS essay Topic: Some animals are now disappearing. What is the reason for this, what should government or individual do to save them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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