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Social networks addiction

Social networks addiction PkMGX
Social networks addiction, a behavioral dependence, causes numerous negative effects on users. Mental health effects is one of the serious consequences that being addicted bring. Researchers has proven the link between social network’s usage and negative mental health. These negative emotions are usually the result of comparisons between the users and others’ lifestyles, social life or materials. While seeing others posting about their accomplishment, one might feel inspired but on the other hand, people instead feel jealous, depressed or even suicidal considering their life is not as “perfect”. Social life will also get affected. People who depend on social network are shown to be struggle with maintaining their current relationships and having trouble making new one. Because of how it rewards the brain with constant stream of dopamine whenever get a like or share people are depended on these online validations. Especially in teenagers, studies have found that teens who are addicted, tense to spends more time alone while lacking social skills and meaningful relationships. Social media is still a relatively new phenomenon, yet it already dominates significant chunks of our life. But with moderation, we can keep it under control.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networks addiction, a behavioral dependence, causes numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on users. Mental health effects is one of the serious consequences that
being addicted
bring.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "researcher has".
Researchers has
proven the link between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network’s usage and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
mental health. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions are
usually
the result of comparisons between the users
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
’ lifestyles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or materials. While seeing others posting about their accomplishment, one might feel inspired
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
instead
feel jealous, depressed or even suicidal considering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is not as “perfect”.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network
are shown
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "struggled".
struggle
with maintaining their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
relationships and having trouble making new one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of how it rewards the brain with constant stream of dopamine whenever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a like or share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are depended
on these online validations.
Especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, studies have found that teens who
are addicted
, tense to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "spend".
spends
more time alone while lacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and meaningful relationships.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
media is
still
a
relatively
new phenomenon,
yet
it already dominates significant chunks of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with moderation, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it under control.
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IELTS essay Social networks addiction

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
191 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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