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Topic: Children nowadays prefer to spend their time on The Internet. What do you think?

Topic: Children nowadays prefer to spend their time on The Internet. What do you think? 93w3
Going up with technology developing, The Internet has gone viral covering most of our aspects, plays hard role in our life. Children who are growing up will build the world, make up the new world and be the better them. It is necessary that children nowadays use The Internet which spending the time on is good or not depends on the purpose and doing. The Internet opens unlimited free information to anyone. Information give us knowledge and learning. Information forms us aspect and interest. Information inspires us creation and invention. Us is anyone, especially children. The Internet provides us with various information resources, worldwide updating information. The children reach the information throughout which they can get knowledge; the knowledge causes their curiousness to make them get into, which is learning processes. By getting into knowledge and learning processes, the children know themselves: they know an aspect they’re good at, what they need, what they’re interested in, . . . especially who they are. According to knowledge and learning bases, also society’ developing demand, the children would create or invent their ideas to approaching reality. Those are positive effects The Internet has on children growing. The Internet helps us to entertain. It brings us worldwide news, movie, novel, . . . which generally is culture. It opens our mind, opens our feeling. These are also good. We do things which are good for us. The positive effects are purpose we use The Internet for. It means, spending time on The Internet with purpose is good, but sometimes our controlling with The Internet is over. Searching on The Internet, sometimes, the recommended news or advertisement break our concentration, the messenger notifies call our focus out. Sometimes, we are on The Internet too smoothly so as not to mind the time. We join in conversation, comment. We are taken part in the unreal world by sayings by surface with no distance. The Internet is programmed to keep users’ interest. It recommends us many new things. It opens the new unreal world with no distance for us to interact to. We feel on, we stay. (We waste our time, our routine start to be messed up. We stick on phone/lap surface, our healthy start to be gone down. We dive in friends on social media, our real relatives start to be faded. ) Especially children, that is very young age to get lost time, bad healthy, faded relatives. The lost time which messes up the routine may cause bad habit, the bad habit and the surface cause low quality healthy, the relationships on social media actually badly affect children’ real socialization and mutual child with parents interaction ability. The Internet seems like something very strong, very interesting to pull us in. The Internet was made for us to make something easy, besides, it made some challenges. Children nowadays can use it for a reason, but should control themselves. How people use it is judgment of spending time on it.
Going up with technology developing, The Internet has gone viral covering most of our aspects, plays
hard
role in our life.
Children
who are growing up will build the
world
,
make
up the
new
world
and be the better them. It is necessary that
children
nowadays
use
The Internet which spending the
time
on is
good
or not depends on the purpose and doing.

The Internet
opens
unlimited free
information
to anyone.
Information
give us
knowledge
and
learning
.
Information
forms us aspect and interest.
Information
inspires us creation and invention. Us is anyone,
especially
children.

The Internet provides us with various
information
resources, worldwide updating
information
. The
children
reach the
information
throughout which they can
get
knowledge
; the
knowledge
causes their curiousness to
make
them
get
into, which is
learning
processes. By getting into
knowledge
and
learning
processes, the
children
know themselves: they know an aspect they’re
good
at, what they need, what they’re interested in
, .
.
.
especially
who they are. According to
knowledge
and
learning
bases,
also
society’ developing demand, the
children
would create or invent their
ideas
to approaching reality. Those are
positive
effects The Internet has on
children
growing.

The Internet
helps
us to entertain. It brings us worldwide
news
, movie, novel
, .
.
.
which
generally
is culture. It
opens
our mind,
opens
our feeling. These are
also
good
.

We do things which are
good
for us. The
positive
effects are purpose we
use
The Internet for. It means, spending
time
on The Internet with purpose is
good
,
but
sometimes
our controlling with The Internet is over.

Searching on The Internet,
sometimes
, the recommended
news
or advertisement break our concentration, the messenger notifies call our focus out.
Sometimes
, we are on The Internet too
smoothly
so
as not to mind the
time
. We
join
in conversation, comment. We
are taken
part in the unreal
world
by sayings by surface with no distance.

The Internet
is programmed
to
keep
users’ interest. It recommends us
many
new
things. It
opens
the
new
unreal
world
with no distance for us to interact to. We feel on, we stay.

(We waste our
time
, our routine
start
to
be messed
up. We stick on phone/lap surface, our healthy
start
to
be gone
down. We dive in friends on social media, our real relatives
start
to
be faded
.
)
Especially
children
,
that is
very
young age to
get
lost
time
,
bad
healthy, faded relatives. The lost
time
which messes up the routine may cause
bad
habit, the
bad
habit and the surface cause low quality healthy, the relationships on social media actually
badly
affect
children’
real socialization and mutual child with parents interaction ability.

The Internet seems like something
very
strong,
very
interesting to pull us in.
The
Internet
was made
for us to
make
something easy,
besides
, it made
some
challenges.
Children
nowadays can
use
it for a reason,
but
should control themselves. How
people
use
it is judgment of spending
time
on it.
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The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Topic: Children nowadays prefer to spend their time on The Internet. What do you think?

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
495 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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