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Too much money is spent on sport when it could be used to help the poor. What are your views on this issue?

We should choose whether to help the poor or to develop sport. One of the main arguments for developing sport is that it makes nation healthier. Generally it results in retrenching expenses on medical care, improving demographic situation, standard of living and life expectancy. It is widely argued that healthy way of life solves social problems. This is clearly illustrated by the fact that physical activities rally families. What is more, for many people it’s the only sphere to show their worth. It is often claimed, that everybody is equal in sport, which means that without spending money on sport, our society wouldn’t be able to make sport available and support persons of natural gifts. In addition, most people point out a psychological effect of sport achievements. I personaly think that we spend to much money on sport; long term and short term. We spend about millions on sporting. Why can't we use the money to help the people that actually need the money. Think about how much things we can do with millions contry wise. If we save all the money on the things like poverty and helping curing diseases we could all live a better life. I do love sport but do we really need to spend this much money? Besides that too much money is being spent on sport when it could be put towards food or housing for more people. The money could help a lot of people instead of spending it on sport. The olympics also cost a lot of money which it is debatable that it happens too often and too much money is spent with approximately billion dollars every year already being used on sport. Instead of spending a lot of money on sports it had better invest on the education system. Also pro sports people make way too much money especially football players in my opinion. Despite of the fact that football players can't achieve the best results, a lot of money is being spent without useful effects.
We should choose whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the poor or to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. One of the main arguments for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
nation healthier.
Generally
it results in retrenching expenses on medical care, improving demographic situation, standard of living and life expectancy. It is
widely
argued that healthy way of life solves social problems. This is
clearly
illustrated by the fact that physical activities rally families.
What is more
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
it’s the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
sphere to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their worth. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed, that everybody is equal in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, which means that without spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, our society wouldn’t be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
available and support persons of natural gifts.
In addition
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
point out a psychological effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
achievements.

I
Possible spelling mistake found.
personaly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we spend
Did you mean “too”?
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
; long term and short term. We spend about millions on sporting. Why can't we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that actually need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Think
about how
Use “many” with countable plural nouns like ‘things’.
much
things we can do with millions
Possible spelling mistake found.
contry
wise. If we save all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the things like poverty and helping
The verb ‘helping’ is used with an infinitive: “to cure” or “cure”.
curing
diseases we could all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better life. I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do we
really
need to spend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
money?

Besides
that too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
being spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
when it could
be put
towards food or housing for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
instead
of spending it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympics
also
cost a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which it is debatable that it happens too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is spent
with approximately
Use “a billion” or use a number before ‘billion’.
billion
dollars every year already being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
Instead
of spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
it had better invest on the education system.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
pro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
especially
football players in my opinion.
Did you mean “Despite” (or, alternatively, ‘in spite of’)?
Despite of
the fact that football players can't achieve the best results, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
being spent
without useful effects.
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IELTS essay Too much money is spent on sport when it could be used to help the poor. What are your views on this issue?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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