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Some development countries have reduced the number of school hours. Is this a positive or a negative development?

There arisen no question over the verity of this statement that school has been a place to learn and develop. A few countries have planned to lessen down the school hours. Indeed, this phenomenon is no doubt a positive one owing to some well established facts that would be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. Decreasing the academic institution hours can prove to be a boon for kids in many a way. To commence with is the number of studying hour is reduced by the institutions, students can easily use free time for their activities for a start, children can spend more time with families, in turn, it will strengthen their bonding with the loved ones. As a result, they would never be the victim of depression and loneliness. Nextly, it would not be out for place to mention that a child gets involved with their neighbors as, it is not only improve their social behavior but also increase the awareness about the surroundings, last but not least, this spare time can also be beneficial for pursuing their hobbies. for intance, by practicing a spill in which they have huge inclination, be it, sports, singing or any other activity. Moreover decreasing the teaching hours can also be advantage to school teachers as they can get training regarding the future requirements of study. For example, in these modern era, technology, puts on adverse effect on the learning methods, so teachers should need to be updated accordingly Besides this, there may be financials savings to the school as teachers would work fewer hours and therefore, would get less pay. The utilities, such as air conditioning, electricity, heating would be used less and hence contribute to savings, as a consequence, this saving money can be either used for providing free education to the poorer ones or improve the medical services. At last, it can be summed up that, it is clear that there are immense benefits for both children and educational institutions is school hours reduce. Hence, Overall, it is pertinent to mention that this one is positive development.
There arisen no question over the verity of this statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has been a place to learn and develop. A few countries have planned to lessen down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
.
Indeed
, this phenomenon is no doubt a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one owing to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
well established facts that would
be discussed
in the upcoming paragraphs.

Decreasing the academic institution
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
can prove to be a boon for kids in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a way. To commence with is the number of studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by the institutions, students can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
free time for their activities for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
, children can spend more time with families, in turn, it will strengthen their bonding with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
As a result
, they would never be the victim of depression and loneliness.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nextly
, it would not be out for place to mention that a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
involved with their neighbors as, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social behavior
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase the awareness about the surroundings, last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, this spare time can
also
be beneficial for pursuing their hobbies.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
intance
, by practicing a spill in which they have huge inclination, be it, sports, singing or any other activity.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
decreasing the teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
can
also
be advantage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teachers as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
training regarding the future requirements of study.
For example
, in these modern era, technology, puts on adverse effect on the learning methods,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
teachers should need to
be updated
accordingly
Besides
this, there may be financials savings to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as teachers would work fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and
therefore
, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less pay. The utilities, such as air conditioning, electricity, heating would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
less and
hence
contribute to savings, as a consequence, this saving money can be either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for providing free education to the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the medical services. At last, it can
be summed
up that, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are immense benefits for both children and educational institutions is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
Hence
,
Overall
, it is pertinent to mention that this one is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
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IELTS essay Some development countries have reduced the number of school hours. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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