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Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? 85QQx
It is true that all countries are focusing on bioscience, and today improvements on medicine, resulting from it, are increasing the lifespan of people compared to previously. In my opinion, I believe that it is fruitful for our society, family and government. Despite the drawback below, Firstly one benefit of older people is control to youngsters easily, therefore, adults follow the traditional culture and dressing style, and eldrely people help their children on a number of fields, and give correct advice for a bright future. Secondly, If older men live in family then people and children are living under rules and restrictions, for example, according to the recent research by the government of India, people who stay with their grandparents are more humble and polite rather than others. Thirdly, sometimes adults need some advice for their study, business and many more, so it is mandatory to ask from our grandparents. Admittedly, sometimes older people can create problems for their children, like after retirement only few countries’ provide a pension to older people, consequently in developing countries older people are completely dependent on their children, thus it creates a huge financial worry for their family. Another possible issue is that a number of older people are not given permission to their children such as tonight's party, making more friends and many others, therefore, children can not enjoy their life freedomly, it is the main reason of contradiction between seniors and juniors. In conclusion, people can take advantage of the adults as they have many experiences from their life and it clearly outweighs any disadvantage.
It is true that all countries are focusing on bioscience, and
today
improvements on medicine, resulting from it, are increasing the lifespan of
people
compared
to
previously. In my opinion, I believe that it is fruitful for our society, family and
government
.

Despite the drawback below,
Firstly
one benefit of
older
people
is control to youngsters
easily
,
therefore
, adults follow the traditional culture and dressing style, and
eldrely
people
help
their
children
on a number of fields, and give correct advice for a bright future.
Secondly
, If
older
men
live
in family then
people
and
children
are living under
rules
and restrictions,
for example
, according to the recent research by the
government
of India,
people
who stay with their grandparents are more humble and polite
rather
than others.
Thirdly
,
sometimes
adults need
some
advice for their study, business and
many
more,
so
it is mandatory to ask from our grandparents.

Admittedly
,
sometimes
older
people
can create problems for their
children
, like after retirement
only
few countries’ provide a pension to
older
people
,
consequently
in
developing countries
older
people
are completely dependent on their
children
,
thus
it creates a huge financial worry for their family. Another possible issue is that a number of
older
people
are not
given
permission to their
children
such as tonight's party, making more friends and
many
others,
therefore
,
children
can not enjoy their life
freedomly
, it is the main reason of contradiction between seniors and juniors.

In conclusion
,
people
can take advantage of the adults as they have
many
experiences from their life and it
clearly
outweighs any disadvantage.
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IELTS essay Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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