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THESE DAYS, VIOLENCE AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY WIDESPREAD/ DISCUSS THE CAUSE AND SOLUTION TO OVERCOME IT. v.1

THESE DAYS, VIOLENCE AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY WIDESPREAD/ DISCUSS THE CAUSE AND SOLUTION TO OVERCOME IT. v. 1
AT THIS PRESENT TIME, EVERYONE WANTS OT ACHIEVED SUCCESS BY COMARING THESLEVES WITH OTHERS. HENCE, IT IS OFTEN SEEN THAT VIOLENCE IN BETWEEN YOUTH HAS BEEN SEEN AT THE PEAK LEVEL AROUND THE WORLD. FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE REASON BEHIND THE SURGE IN THE VIOLATIVE BEHAVIOUR AND SECONDLY, WILL PROVIDE A SUFFIECIENT SUGGESTION TO TACKLE THIS MENACE. ON THE ONE SIDE, THE MAJOR REASON BEHIND THE ABOVE ISSUE IS THE HIGHER RATE OF UNEMPLYOMENT AROUND THE WORLD. OWNING TO THE FACT THAT INCREASED LIFE EXPECTANCY MADE OLDER INDIVIDUALS TO WORK FOR MORE YEARS. AS A RESULT, DECLINE NUMBER OF POSITION AVAILABLE TO FILL UP. FOR EXAMPLE, ACCORDING TO THE EMPLYOMENT DATA OF THE UK, 80% OF THE EMPLYOEES ARE ABOVE AGE OF 50 AS THEY PHYSICALLY FIT TO DO SO. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE BEST WAY TO SOLVE THIS MENACE IS TO SET THE EARLY RETIREMENT AGE THAT ONLY BE POSSIBLE WITH THE AUTHORITY SUPPORT IS THEY MAKE THAT AS A LEGAL RULE. THIS LAW COULD LEAD TO OPENED A NEW OPPORTUNITY AMONG ADOLESCENCES AND ALSO GIVE CHANCE TO AGED FOLKS TO LIVE THEIR LIFE PEACEFULLY. FOR INSTANCE, AS PER THE FRANCE RESEARCH, 70% OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC IS HAPPY AND FREE OF CRIME DUE TO THE EQUAL OPPORTUNITY FOR BOTH OLDER AND YOUNGER PEOPLE AVAILABLE. IN CONCLUSION, VIOLATIVE BEHAVIOUR INDEED GIVE NEGATIVE IMPACT OF PERSON'S LIFE AND ON REGIME AS WELL. THEREFORE, TO SAVE THE NATION AND TODAY'S GENERATION, THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD TAKE SOME EFFECIVE ACTION BY IMPLIMENTING A VEGOROUS RULES THAT ARE CAPABLE TO INHIBITE THEM BY ATTEMPTING SUCH DETRIMENTAL BEHAVIOUR THAT COULD LEAD TO OFFENCE.
AT THIS PRESENT TIME, EVERYONE WANTS OT ACHIEVED SUCCESS BY
COMARING
THESLEVES
WITH OTHERS.
HENCE
, IT IS
OFTEN
SEEN
THAT VIOLENCE IN BETWEEN YOUTH HAS BEEN
SEEN
AT THE PEAK LEVEL AROUND THE WORLD.
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE REASON BEHIND THE SURGE IN THE
VIOLATIVE
BEHAVIOUR
AND
SECONDLY
, WILL PROVIDE A
SUFFIECIENT
SUGGESTION TO TACKLE THIS MENACE.

ON THE ONE SIDE, THE MAJOR REASON BEHIND THE ABOVE ISSUE IS THE HIGHER RATE OF
UNEMPLYOMENT
AROUND THE WORLD. OWNING TO THE FACT THAT INCREASED LIFE EXPECTANCY MADE OLDER INDIVIDUALS TO WORK FOR MORE YEARS.
AS A RESULT
, DECLINE NUMBER OF POSITION AVAILABLE TO FILL UP.
FOR EXAMPLE
, ACCORDING TO THE
EMPLYOMENT
DATA OF THE UK, 80% OF THE
EMPLYOEES
ARE ABOVE AGE OF 50 AS THEY
PHYSICALLY
FIT TO DO
SO
.

ON THE OTHER HAND
, THE BEST WAY TO SOLVE THIS MENACE IS TO SET THE EARLY RETIREMENT AGE THAT
ONLY
BE POSSIBLE WITH THE AUTHORITY SUPPORT IS THEY
MAKE
THAT AS A LEGAL
RULE
. THIS LAW COULD LEAD TO OPENED A NEW OPPORTUNITY AMONG ADOLESCENCES AND
ALSO
GIVE CHANCE TO AGED FOLKS TO
LIVE
THEIR LIFE
PEACEFULLY
.
FOR INSTANCE
, AS PER THE FRANCE RESEARCH, 70% OF THE
GENERAL PUBLIC
IS HAPPY AND FREE OF CRIME DUE TO THE EQUAL OPPORTUNITY FOR BOTH OLDER AND YOUNGER
PEOPLE
AVAILABLE.

IN CONCLUSION
,
VIOLATIVE
BEHAVIOUR
INDEED
GIVE
NEGATIVE
IMPACT OF PERSON'S LIFE AND ON REGIME
AS WELL
.
THEREFORE
, TO SAVE THE NATION AND
TODAY
'S GENERATION, THE
GOVERNMENT
SHOULD TAKE
SOME
EFFECIVE
ACTION BY
IMPLIMENTING
A
VEGOROUS
RULES
THAT ARE CAPABLE TO
INHIBITE
THEM BY ATTEMPTING SUCH DETRIMENTAL
BEHAVIOUR
THAT COULD LEAD TO
OFFENCE
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay THESE DAYS, VIOLENCE AMONG YOUNG PEOPLE IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY WIDESPREAD/ DISCUSS THE CAUSE AND SOLUTION TO OVERCOME IT. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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