Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

• These days, some schools do not have enough money to pay for all the programs that they think are necessary for their students. As a result, some schools are considering allowing advertisements in their buildings. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not?

• These days, some schools do not have enough money to pay for all the programs that they think are necessary for their students. As a result, some schools are considering allowing advertisements in their buildings. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not? WyEyN
Currently some schools have financial problems to get the suitable and necessary programs for their students, therefore they are looking for different alternatives like allowing advertisements in their property. Although, it is an easy way to earn money it might generate some drawbacks in the student's education. In this essay I will give some important points to reflect why is a bad idea permitting ads into schools. Without doubt children are quite easily influenced by everything around them, also that school is the place where children spend most of their time. Hence, it is critical to be care about what or what not is spread around them. Advertisement might set up negative effects on the students like encouraging bad habits. For example, if there would be a lot of ads about junk food, it will increase the consumption of it among students. Another point to think is that an advert can divert the student's attention and produce a decrease in their scores. Thank to globalization nowadays teens are involved in the mass consumption and just want to buy the latest technology and brand clothes. For consequence, students could be more focused about the publicity than their exams. To conclude, despite the idea has a good intention it is significant to reconsider and think about the effects and impacts that it could lead on the students and their education.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools have financial problems to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the suitable and necessary programs for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
therefore
they are looking for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
alternatives like allowing advertisements in their property.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, it is an easy way to earn money it might generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks in the student's education. In this essay I will give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
points to reflect why is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
permitting ads into schools.

Without doubt children are quite
easily
influenced by everything around them,
also
that school is the place where children spend most of their time.
Hence
, it is critical to be care about what or what not
is spread
around them. Advertisement might set up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
For example
, if there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ads about junk food, it will increase the consumption of it among students.

Another point to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is that an advert can divert the student's attention and produce a decrease in their scores. Thank to globalization nowadays teens
are involved
in the mass consumption and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the latest technology and brand clothes. For consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could be more focused about the publicity than their exams.

To conclude
, despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
intention it is significant to reconsider and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the effects and impacts that it could lead on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their education.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay • These days, some schools do not have enough money to pay for all the programs that they think are necessary for their students. As a result, some schools are considering allowing advertisements in their buildings. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • • These days, some schools do not have enough money to pay for all the programs that they think are necessary for their students. As a result, some schools are considering allowing advertisements in their buildings. Do you think this is a good idea? Why or why not?