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These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?

These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development? Mpp6
Nowadays, many individuals from less developed nations choose to work in a foreign country and often take their family with them to live a better life. I believe that the advantages of working in a rich country, like earning enormous money, numerous opportunities for professional growth, outweigh its disadvantages. In the following paragraphs, both pros and cons of living in a developed nation are discussed. Many people prefer to migrate to wealthy countries for better prospects and take their family members with them. They settle abroad because of numerous benefits which they get in these nations, like better education for children, affordable healthcare, and many golden opportunities for professional growth. These perks not only make their life easier, but they also live a luxurious life which they are not able to afford in their own country. In Canada, for example, tens of thousands of professionals migrate every year in search of jobs, and after getting permanent residency, they live a comfortable life. Children's moral values, on the other hand, get adversely affected as they stay separated from their cultural roots, and live in a foreign atmosphere. Instead of learning their own culture, they inculcate foreign traditions and hardly learn anything about the history of their forefathers. Moreover, they don’t pay attention to the needs of their old parents and left them alone to live an isolated life. The quality of education and career opportunities in these countries, however, far outweigh these concern areas. For example, in countries like the United Kingdom, child education is free of cost, and there are specialized skill enhancement programs for children at a very early age. Taking all this into consideration, keeping the number of career growth opportunities in a foreign country in mind, it is justified to work in an affluent nation and provide a better life to our family members. With such a platform, not only individuals grow enormously, but they also raise their standard of living which they cannot afford in their own country.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals from less developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
choose to work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take their family with them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I believe that the advantages of working in a rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, like earning enormous money, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for professional growth, outweigh its disadvantages. In the following paragraphs, both pros and cons of living in a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
are discussed
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to migrate to wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
prospects and take their family members with them. They settle abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of numerous benefits which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education for children, affordable healthcare, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
golden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
for professional growth. These perks not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which they are not able to afford in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In Canada,
for example
, tens of thousands of professionals migrate every year in search of jobs, and after getting permanent residency, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a comfortable life.

Children's moral values,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
as they stay separated from their cultural roots, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
atmosphere.
Instead
of learning their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture, they inculcate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
traditions and hardly learn anything about the history of their forefathers.
Moreover
, they don’t pay attention to the needs of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
parents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
them alone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
an isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The quality of education and career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
however
, far outweigh these concern areas.
For example
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the United Kingdom, child education is free of cost, and there
are specialized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
enhancement programs for children at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age.

Taking all this into consideration, keeping the number of career growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in mind, it
is justified
to work in an affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to our family members. With such a platform, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
individuals grow
enormously
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
raise their standard of living which they cannot afford in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay These days many people leave their country to work abroad and take their family with them. Do you think benefits of this outweigh disadvantages in terms of family development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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