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These days, in many countries, fewer people go to the cinema to watch movies than in the past. Why is this? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

These days, in many countries, fewer people go to the cinema to watch movies than in the past. Why is this? Is it a good thing or a bad thing? xKrb
Over the decades, since the onset of digitization number of movies are available at home on TV and computer screens. There has been drastic change in the viewers actually going at cinema halls which has resulted in the drop in the revenue of the film industry. Considering this deceleration making impact on the huge economic loss, We need to analyze causes, However positive impact on lifestyle of individuals must be accepted. The factors for not choosing the cinema halls are related to the economic, preference to personal space and fast lifestyle. Firstly, there has been increase in the prices for movie tickets along with the extra charges for expensive food items. Which is inevitable because of the inflation rates of economy. In addition, encroachment in the personal space of the families enjoying movies causing turmoil in the enjoyment of movies. Finally, the tighter scheduled leading to stay at home mostly on weekends. Most of the youngster prefer to spend this time on leisure activities rather than spending time in traffic. However the positive impact must be welcomed because of several factors, despite the impact on the film revenues. To start with there is significant saving in the time of an individual where someone can utilize this time to spend with families for other activities such as cooking, playing and hobbies. Secondly, the safety concern such as possibilities of fire, contagious diseases are getting alleviate. Finally, families can watch the movies more fun and joy with homemade food served. In conclusion, It is inevitable to acclimatize with this sudden loss of revenue for the film industry and government but it is the society who is getting all benefits. I personally welcome this change and encourage choose to enjoy movie in the home. This change is worth in terms of individual's economy and fulfillment.
Over the decades, since the onset of digitization number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are available at home on TV and computer screens. There has been drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the viewers actually going at cinema halls which has resulted in the drop in the revenue of the film industry. Considering this deceleration making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the huge economic loss, We need to analyze causes,
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on lifestyle of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
. The factors for not choosing the cinema halls
are related
to the economic, preference to personal space and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
lifestyle.
Firstly
, there has been increase in the prices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
tickets along with the extra charges for expensive food items.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is inevitable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the inflation rates of economy.
In addition
, encroachment in the personal space of the families enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
causing turmoil in the enjoyment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
Finally
, the tighter scheduled leading to stay at home
mostly
on weekends. Most of the youngster prefer to spend this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on leisure activities
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in traffic.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be welcomed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several factors, despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the film revenues. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with there is significant saving in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of an individual where someone can utilize this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with families for other activities such as cooking, playing and hobbies.
Secondly
, the safety concern such as possibilities of fire, contagious diseases are getting alleviate.
Finally
, families can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
more fun and joy with homemade food served.
In conclusion
, It is inevitable to acclimatize with this sudden loss of revenue for the film industry and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is the society who is getting all benefits. I
personally
welcome this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and encourage choose to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
in the home. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is worth in terms of individual's economy and fulfillment.
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IELTS essay These days, in many countries, fewer people go to the cinema to watch movies than in the past. Why is this? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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