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These days, a considerable amount of advertising is directed at children. Should it be banned because of the adverse effects? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, a considerable amount of advertising is directed at children. Should it be banned because of the adverse effects? g2gd
Nowadays, advertising is a key part of modern business and a large amount of advertisements is aimed at children. Some people believe that advertising should be banned due to its negative impacts, however I am the opinion that advertisements should not be completely prohibited. This essay will justify my point of view with valid arguments and examples. On the one hand, if ommercials can manipulate adults, they can have a considerably higher chance of tricking children. since they do not understand the value of money and they lack the ability to distinguish misleading or false information included in the advertisements, they will pester and put pressure on parents to buy the newest toy, for example. However expensive the toy is, with an attractive advertisement, children would beg their parents for it. In addition, children can easily be influenced by them. For instance, if their favourite cartoon character describes a product, which might have a destructive effect on their health, such as junk food, as the most delicious food, children will believe despite all the negative effects of advertised product. On the other hand, advertising is one of the key of a prosperous economy. Without it there would be higher unemployment. For example, McDonalds provides thousands of employment opportunities in advertising around the world. So, if advertising was banned, a huge number of workers, such as marketers, may become unemployed. In conclusion, although children-oriented advertising has a certain negative impacts, imposing a prohibition on it is unreasonable.
Nowadays, advertising is a key part of modern business and a large amount of
advertisements
is aimed
at
children
.
Some
people
believe that advertising should
be banned
due to its
negative
impacts,
however
I am the opinion that
advertisements
should not be completely prohibited. This essay will justify my point of view with valid arguments and examples. On the one hand, if
ommercials
can manipulate adults, they can have a
considerably
higher chance of tricking
children
.
since
they do not understand the value of
money and
they lack the ability to distinguish misleading or false information included in the
advertisements
, they will pester and put pressure on parents to
buy
the newest toy,
for example
.
However
expensive the toy is, with an attractive
advertisement
,
children
would beg their parents for it.
In addition
,
children
can
easily
be influenced
by them.
For instance
, if their
favourite
cartoon character
describes
a product, which might have a destructive effect on their health, such as junk food, as the most delicious food,
children
will believe despite all the
negative
effects of advertised product.
On the other hand
, advertising is one of the key of a prosperous economy. Without it there would be higher unemployment.
For example
,
McDonalds
provides thousands of employment opportunities in advertising around the world.
So
, if advertising
was banned
, a huge number of workers, such as marketers, may become unemployed.
In conclusion
, although children-oriented advertising has a certain
negative
impacts, imposing a prohibition on it is unreasonable.
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IELTS essay These days, a considerable amount of advertising is directed at children. Should it be banned because of the adverse effects?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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