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Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages? MJeQ
In this developing era, many people tends to use internet for various purposes such as shopping, communicating, searching and many more. It is said that nowadays the trend of purchasing commodities through online websites, like books, air tickets and groceries is too famous globally. So this essay will discuss why the advantages of this approach absolutely outweigh the disadvantages. To begin with, online marketing provides plenty of benefits to its customers. Firstly, this business is available 24 hours therefore an individual can order thing at any time and anywhere as well as it is time saving too because it prevent people to visit for away shops. Moreover, many companies offers excellent discount there, despite of more discount they also give facility of free home delivery. In other words they don't charge shipping cost on order up to specialised amounts at the same time, In the festival time branded items are accessible at reasonable price additionally, this manner is most favourable in the account of old and working people. For instance, in my neighbourhood, a elder couple usually order their groceries with the help of internet. On the other hand, though, having numerous merits, still it has some demerits also. There are chances of froud websites which aim to cheat people by taking money in advance they do not deliever the product. Besides, sometimes quality of material is not same as shown on internet. Similarly, physically inspection of commodities is not possible due to that pupils don't take risk to spend money on it. Finally, the major drawback is that many times delivery of items gets late thus it is not useful in emergency time. To sum up, online shopping is now first choice of everyone as it has lots of amazing services as well as usefulness however, fake marketing is critical issues though people must take care of it then they don't have to face the problem as a result they can enjoy the benefits of purchasing by internet. Thus advantages outnumber downside.
In this developing era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
tends
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet for various purposes such as shopping, communicating, searching and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. It
is said
that nowadays the trend of purchasing commodities through online websites, like books, air tickets and groceries is too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
globally.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this essay will discuss why the advantages of this approach
absolutely
outweigh the disadvantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, online marketing provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits to its customers.
Firstly
, this business is available 24 hours
therefore
an individual can order thing at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and anywhere
as well
as it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "prevents"?
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit for away shops.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
offers excellent discount there,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
more discount they
also
give facility of free home delivery.
In other words
they don't charge shipping cost on order up to
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
amounts at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, In the festival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
branded items are accessible at reasonable price
additionally
, this manner is most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
in the account of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
,
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
elder couple
usually
order their groceries with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet.

On the other hand
, though, having numerous merits,
still
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits
also
. There are chances of
Possible spelling mistake found.
froud
websites which aim to cheat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by taking money in advance they do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
deliever
the product.
Besides
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
quality of material is not same as shown on internet.
Similarly
,
physically
inspection of commodities is not possible due to that pupils don't take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to spend money on it.
Finally
, the major drawback is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
delivery of items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
late
thus
it is not useful in emergency time.

To sum up, online shopping is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
first
choice of everyone as it has lots of amazing services
as well
as usefulness
however
, fake marketing is critical issues though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take care of it then they don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the problem
as a result
they can enjoy the benefits of purchasing by internet.
Thus
advantages outnumber downside.
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IELTS essay Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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