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There is an increasing trend of antisocial behavior by individuals and in most cases it is blamed on society. How can society be the blame? What needs to be done about these people?

There is an increasing trend of antisocial behavior by individuals and in most cases it is blamed on society. How can society be the blame? What needs to be done about these people? QLlmx
The world is witnessing a spurt in criminal activities recently and it has led to heated debates on who is culpable for this. In most cases, it is their general upbringing and the social issues they face in the community that are to be blamed for this particular characteristic. To begin with, unemployment is one the surge in most countries around the world. As more and more graduates are being churned out of the universities, there is no proportional employment opportunities for them. As a result, they are subjected to frustration, stress and anxiety which in turn can make them resort to unlawful acts like theft and this disrupts the social harmony. Additionally, bad upbringing is another factor responsible for such behaviour when children do not get the necessary care and support from their families, or if they cannot afford to send them to schools, they can end up being vulnerable and unaware of the ramifications of such antisocial acts. Inorder to overcome this issue, there needs to be a conscious and proactive involvement of the government. Since education plays a very important role in moulding the character of an individual, it is the onus of the governing bodies to ensure that education is made a fundamental right and that every child gets the chance to go to school, especially those from the marginalised and unprivileged section. The correlation between education and felony is illustrated by the statistics developed by the World Child Protection Agency which reported that the crime rate is lowest in Sweden, the most literate country in the world. A steady job and income, besides the foundation of education, is another pivotal and indispensable part of a transgression free civilisation. In conclusion, while the social environment in which a person grows is wholly to be blamed for the bad character traits developed in them, the society itself, with the assistance and support of the government can make a lot of difference in an individual’s life.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is witnessing a spurt in criminal activities recently and it has led to heated debates on who is culpable for this.
In most cases
, it is their general upbringing and the social issues they face in the community that are to
be blamed
for this particular characteristic.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, unemployment is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the surge in most countries around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. As more and more graduates are
being churned
out of the universities, there is no proportional employment opportunities for them.
As a result
, they
are subjected
to frustration,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and anxiety which in turn can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them resort to unlawful acts like theft and this disrupts the social harmony.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
upbringing is another factor responsible for such
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
when children do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the necessary care and support from their families, or if they cannot afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to schools, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being vulnerable and unaware of the ramifications of such antisocial acts.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Inorder
to overcome this issue, there needs to be a conscious and proactive involvement of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
Possible spelling mistake. 'moulding' is British English.
moulding
the character of an individual, it is the onus of the governing bodies to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is made
a fundamental right and that every child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the chance to go to school,
especially
those from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'marginalised' is British English.
marginalised
and unprivileged section. The correlation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and felony
is illustrated
by the statistics developed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Child Protection Agency which reported that the crime rate is lowest in Sweden, the most literate country in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. A steady job and income,
besides
the foundation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, is another pivotal and indispensable part of a transgression free
Possible spelling mistake. 'civilisation' is British English.
civilisation
.

In conclusion
, while the social environment in which a person grows is wholly to
be blamed
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
character traits developed in them, the society itself, with the assistance and support of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
difference in an individual’s life.
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IELTS essay There is an increasing trend of antisocial behavior by individuals and in most cases it is blamed on society. How can society be the blame? What needs to be done about these people?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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