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There are parent who decide to stay home and look after their families, mostly mothers, some argue that the government should pay “stay-at-home” parents, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are parent who decide to stay home and look after their families, mostly mothers, some argue that the government should pay “stay-at-home” parents, 0ABm3
Quickly grappling trend in living busiest, but yet, luxurious life has heralded most of parents to ignore their responsibilities to synergize the family. Consequently, children in such family are languishing in instilling good attitude from parents and surroundings. Therefore, some argue that mother has to stay at home with payment from government and look after her family to avoid perfidious relationships within family. On one hand, as many people believe that home is first school for a child, thus a child can inculcate plentiful knowledge from his/her parents before enrolling into school. Furthermore, to make family peaceful and smooth running both husband and wife have to share their responsibilities. In my opinion, male partner is comparatively physically stronger than female so that he can take the responsibility of working out of home and support financially and female partner can stay at home to look after family works. In doing so, a child always is well taken care of. In addition, government has to compensate for such stay-at-home parents as he/she has to abandon his/her work out of home. Government has to closely monitor each family record and pay accordingly with frugal judgment of his/her qualification which would have utilized to uplift skilled manpower resources in a country rather than staying at home. On the other hand, nowadays world has changed and either of parents is equally capable of working physically and mentally so it is not only a responsibility of mother to look after her family but also the responsibility of father too. For example, if a mother is more qualified and skillful than a father, in such situation, a father can stay at home to look after family related work and the mother can go to work for supporting financially. After all, family is made from equal contribution of both parents. Another point is that, I believe government has much more thing to do and do not have enough time to look after every family activity. Hence, this is the situation of organizing and planning of parents in a family to contribute to their children and decide who to go out and who to stay at home rather than being voracious to seek payment from governments. To put it in a nutshell, neither of situations is likely to fit exactly for such a hotly debated problem but a mix of both solutions could be useful for overcoming from this problem. Therefore, both parents and government have to involve making decision to well manage each family for the betterment of country.
Quickly
grappling trend in living busiest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
yet
, luxurious life has heralded most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
to synergize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Consequently
, children in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are languishing in instilling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attitude from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and surroundings.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home with payment from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
after her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to avoid perfidious relationships within family.

On one hand, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that home is
first
school for a child,
thus
a child can inculcate plentiful knowledge from his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
enrolling into school.
Furthermore
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
peaceful and smooth running both husband and wife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
. In my opinion, male partner is
comparatively
physically
stronger than female
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of working out of home and support
financially
and female partner can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
works. In doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, a child always is well taken care of.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
compensate for such stay-at-home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as he/she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
abandon his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out of home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
closely
monitor each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
record and pay
accordingly
with frugal judgment of his/her qualification which would have utilized to uplift skilled manpower resources in a country
rather
than staying at home.

On the other hand
, nowadays world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and either of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
equally
capable of working
physically
and mentally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
after her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of father too.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
is more qualified and skillful than a father, in such situation, a father can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
can go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for supporting
financially
.
After all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is made
from equal contribution of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Another point is that, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has much more thing to do and do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
after every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
activity.
Hence
, this is the situation of organizing and planning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to contribute to their children and decide who to go out and who to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home
rather
than being voracious to seek payment from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

To put it in a nutshell, neither of situations is likely to fit exactly for such a
hotly
debated problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a mix of both solutions could be useful for overcoming from this problem.
Therefore
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
involve making decision to well manage each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
for the betterment of country.

IELTS essay There are parent who decide to stay home and look after their families, mostly mothers, some argue that the government should pay “stay-at-home” parents,

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
421 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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