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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays. v.5

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays. v. 5
Music is an all-encompassing art that cuts across wide demography and geography. There are, indeed, many styles or classifications of music broadly defined in terms of genres that people compose or listen to across the globe. While there are many types of musical forms in existence, there are even many reasons why people stick to or enjoy certain styles of music. Firstly, a majority of musical enthusiasts gets an emotional release listening to a distinctive style of musical notes or beats from a certain instrument(s). From traditional percussion to modern electronic musical instruments, there are billions of variations in the sounds produced and used from them in the form of symphonies, compositions or songs to name a few. Listening to such music has been often a cathartic experience to swallow down or vent out emotions. Secondly, music is an instrument that amplifies any form of celebration or festivity. It is considered to fill the lives of people with optimism and elation. There are maestros or popular artists, like Beethoven and Bob Dylan, who dedicated their entire lives to producing masterpieces to be enjoyed and admired by music buffs. Lastly, the commercial aspect of music creation. Musicians earn billions of dollars by selling their works in the form of records, CDs, live performances or music for movies, to begin with. Music transcends not only mental boundaries, but also physical borders. In this digital age, people of a small village in an Asian country could listen to Western Jazz music over international radio channels. However, it does not mean traditional music is less significant. Traditional music usually holds a cultural identity along with it and its such defining marker that usually brings forth a tribe or a race to prominence in the global world. Many individuals or groups attempt to preserve such communities to keep such music alive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is an all-encompassing art that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cuts
across wide demography and geography. There are,
indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
styles or classifications of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
broadly
defined in terms of genres that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compose or listen to across the globe.

While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
in existence, there are even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stick to or enjoy certain styles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Firstly
, a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
enthusiasts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
an emotional release listening to a distinctive style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
notes or beats from a certain instrument(s). From traditional percussion to modern electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
instruments, there are billions of variations in the sounds produced and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
from them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of symphonies, compositions or songs to name a few. Listening to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a cathartic experience to swallow down or vent out emotions.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an instrument that amplifies any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of celebration or festivity. It
is considered
to fill the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with optimism and elation. There are maestros or popular artists, like Beethoven and Bob Dylan, who dedicated their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to producing masterpieces to
be enjoyed
and admired by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
buffs.
Lastly
, the commercial aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
creation. Musicians earn billions of dollars by selling their works in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of records, CDs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
performances or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for movies, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with.

Music transcends not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mental boundaries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
physical borders. In this digital age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village in an Asian country could listen to Western Jazz
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
over international radio channels.
However
, it does not mean traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is less significant. Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
usually
holds a cultural identity along with it and its such defining marker that
usually
brings forth a tribe or a race to prominence in the global world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals or groups attempt to preserve such communities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
alive.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays. v. 5

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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