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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? v.3

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? v. 3
In recent times, music has attracted a widespread attention right from the west to east. Certainly music comes with various flavours ranging from Classic to Pop or Rock. This essay will share some reasons about the needs of music and a comparison between the traditional music of a country versus the famed international music which dominates around the globe. To begin with, music gives us a soothing effect or a relaxation from our daily stressful environments. This culture started from our early ancestors who used various forms of music as a symbol of entertainment as well as their identity. Furthermore, there are various psychologists who openly state that music acts as a magic potion for people struggling against chronic depression. Interestingly, music is the only component which binds everyone across all the age groups, although differs with varying shades of intonation and harmony. Having said that, there is an endless argument in deciding whether the indigenous music of a country supersedes the music which is globally famed. It is to be understood that, not every human on this earth got a chance to listen and understand the international music, as it enormously demands the understanding of the language and the nuances. However, all of us will surely be able to understand the local music which is composed by our own countrymen. This gives people a home grown advantage to hear the local music and cherish the emotions. For example, not everyone would be familiar with Taylor Swift’s songs or music, however, all of the Indians have a credible knowledge about A. R Rahman’s songs and his way of composing music. To recapitulate, the music transcends the country’s borders and it achieves global recognition and acceptance. In the era of globalisation, it is inappropriate to classify local or global music. If the local music is propagated through the right channels, it can reach multiple spectators and can put the country on the spotlight. Therefore, it all depends upon the medium through which the music has been promoted.
In recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has attracted a widespread attention right from the west to east.
Certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with various
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
ranging from Classic to Pop or Rock. This essay will share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons about the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and a comparison between the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
versus the famed international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which dominates around the globe.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
gives us a soothing effect or a relaxation from our daily stressful environments. This culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from our early ancestors who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
various forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as a symbol of entertainment
as well
as their identity.
Furthermore
, there are various psychologists who
openly
state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
acts as a magic potion for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
struggling against chronic depression.
Interestingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
component which binds everyone across all the age groups, although differs with varying shades of intonation and harmony.

Having said that, there is an endless argument in deciding whether the indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
supersedes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which is globally famed. It is to
be understood
that, not every human on this earth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a chance to listen and understand the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, as it
enormously
demands the understanding of the language and the nuances.
However
, all of us will
surely
be able to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which
is composed
by our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countrymen.
Did you mean "these"?
This
gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a
This word is normally spelled as one.
home grown
advantage to hear the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and cherish the emotions.
For example
, not everyone would be familiar with Taylor Swift’s songs or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
however
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
Indians have a credible knowledge about A. R Rahman’s songs and his way of composing music.

To recapitulate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
transcends the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
borders and it achieves global recognition and acceptance. In the era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, it is inappropriate to classify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
or global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is propagated
through the right channels, it can reach multiple spectators and can put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
on the spotlight.
Therefore
, it all depends upon the medium through which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
been promoted
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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