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There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? v.19

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? v. 19
One of the most conspicuous trends in today’s world is music. There are different forms of music and each has its own significance and history. Some people believe that music is itself a culture, which binds people with no barriers to express feelings in free form. As it is widely debated the importance of music in our life, this essay will explain the needs of music. Firstly, music has a huge advantage in relaxing the body and it can work as a medicine at stress times; however, many relaxation therapies use music to ease the pressure out. In addition, music is a free of form and many innovative tunes can be generated to express multiple feelings in just one tune. For example, ancient times where anaesthesia was not invented, doctors use music as the drug to send patients into trance for surgeries. Needless to say, music plays a key role in stress management, as well as in psychological treatments. Secondly, another pivotal aspect is that every country has its own traditional music and every music is unique in style. Moreover, music is also culture and that is the reason for movies succeed because of incorporating different forms of art into one platform. For instance, a recent survey suggests that most people enjoy the fusion of traditional music with conventional music and new is always accepted in any culture. Finally, music is stateless and it can help people to shift their moods in a few minutes for better concentration. In conclusion, every sound we make is music, heartbeat is a music and without heart beat humans cannot survive and the same applies to music. Hence, new creative forms of music increase its popularity globally.
One of the most conspicuous trends in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and each has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance and history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is itself a culture, which binds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with no barriers to express feelings in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
. As it is
widely
debated the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in our life, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the needs of music.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a huge advantage in relaxing the body and it can work as a medicine at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
times;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
relaxation therapies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the pressure out.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a free of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innovative tunes can
be generated
to express multiple feelings in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one tune.
For example
, ancient
It is better to use 'times' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "times when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
times where
Possible spelling mistake. 'anaesthesia' is British English.
anaesthesia
was not invented, doctors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as the drug to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
patients into trance for surgeries. Needless to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a key role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
management,
as well
as in psychological treatments.

Secondly
, another pivotal aspect is that every country has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is unique in style.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
also
culture and
that is
the reason for movies succeed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of incorporating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
of art into one platform.
For instance
, a recent survey suggests that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy the fusion of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and new is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in any culture.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is stateless and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to shift their moods in a few minutes for better concentration.

In conclusion
, every sound we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, heartbeat is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and without heart beat humans cannot survive and the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Hence
, new creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
increase its popularity globally.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays? v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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