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There are many benefits for young people who travel to other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

In this concurrent era, travelling abroad is dream of young generation. It is therefore suggested that youngsters youngsters aware about new cultures, traditions and meet foreigners I too opine they young adult alliance with stranger who help them to know more about their cultures and their countries as well. Firstly, travelling other countries have umpteen benefits to youth because before planning to travel other countries they explore every thing about specific country which they want to go due to that young people gain knowledge about country's rules and regulations, regional language and their cultures which help them to make a trip. Additionally, they can also learn new lifestyle from native people consequently, adolescent can change their traditional way and adopt new way of living life style. Moreover, travelling oasis is also beneficial for those who want to go foreign for their higher degree or job because such youngsters already familiar about almost all the thing such as culture, language and places which can help them a lot as a result they will not feel embarrass, shy and alone. Although many may argue that journeying out of the country is too expensive and waste of money, however, I feel, young people can gain factual knowledge about other countries' people, their cultures and many more. In conclusion, travelling foreign countries are not only advantageous for youngsters but that would also help to amend their families lifestyle and societies as well. Therefore, I fully agree that travelling other nations have massive benefits for youth.
In this concurrent era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
abroad is dream of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation. It is
therefore
suggested that youngsters youngsters aware about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, traditions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
foreigners I too opine they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adult alliance with stranger who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to know more about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as well
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have umpteen benefits to youth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
planning to travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they explore every thing about specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which they want to go due to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gain knowledge about country's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations, regional language and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a trip.
Additionally
, they can
also
learn new lifestyle from native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consequently
, adolescent can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their traditional way and adopt new way of living life style.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
oasis is
also
beneficial for those who want to go foreign for their higher degree or job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such youngsters already familiar about almost all the thing such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, language and places which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them a lot
as a result
they will not feel embarrass, shy and alone. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
may argue that journeying out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is too expensive and waste of money,
however
, I feel,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can gain factual knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
advantageous for youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that would
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to amend their families lifestyle and societies
as well
.
Therefore
, I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations have massive benefits for youth.
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IELTS essay There are many benefits for young people who travel to other countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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