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The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population, This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialised and developing nations.

The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population, This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialised and developing nations. JORj
Most of the countries in world are facing a pretty serious man-made threat which is the rate at which population is growing. The situation is not only alarming in many of the poor and undeveloped nations but it's also alerting for many of the developing nations. Usually, a country is considered as poor when it lacks basic infrastructure and is unable to provide basic essential services. Over population is a biggest threat for these nations. Due to the increasing population, the citizens residing in these countries are dying out of hunger as the government is unable to ensure the food safety. Many of the growing children are dying as there is no proper design for vaccinations and other health services. What makes it more worse is the fact that most of the citizens residing in these countries do not have a proper place to live and they usually put up in large public places, so issues like virus spread can not be controlled. The situation is exactly similar when it comes to developing nations. These countries have proper infrastructure in place and can provide basic essential services but the fact that the number of people living in these countries is huge, the services are mismanaged. In case of a pandemic, most of these nations fail to provide these essential services even though they have resources. These nations are also observing increase in unemployment which directly leads to more crime and hate. There are many possible solutions to tackle this down. One is that abortions should be legalised if a woman wants to abort. In most of the countries as the abortion is banned, it leads to unwanted child birth. Countries like China have already started "one child policy", where couples are penalised financially if they plan more than one child. Even though this is a harsh step but to make things better, steps like these are need of the hour. For poor and undeveloped nations, WHO and UN are already involved in many programs to educate people but this has to be increased drastically. Many more NGOs should participate in the same to make sure that people are aware of the risks around this. To sum up, if the population explosion continues, many more people will die in poor countries and the life in the cities will be immensely difficult.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in world are facing a pretty serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made threat which is the rate at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is growing. The situation is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
alarming in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
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poor
and undeveloped
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nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's
also
alerting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the developing nations.

Usually
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is considered
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
when it lacks basic infrastructure and is unable to provide basic essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. Over
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population
is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
biggest threat for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Due to the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, the citizens residing in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are dying out of hunger as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is unable to ensure the food safety.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the growing children are dying as there is no proper design for vaccinations and other health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
Use only "worse" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more worse
is the fact that most of the citizens residing in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not have a proper place to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
live and
they
usually
put up in large public places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
issues like virus spread can not
be controlled
.

The situation is exactly similar when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have proper infrastructure in place and can provide basic essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the fact that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is huge, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are mismanaged
. In case of a pandemic, most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
fail to provide these essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
even though
they have resources. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
also
observing increase in unemployment which
directly
leads to more crime and hate.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possible solutions to tackle this down. One is that abortions should be
Possible spelling mistake. 'legalised' is British English.
legalised
if a woman wants to abort. In most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
as the abortion
is banned
, it leads to unwanted child birth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
like China have already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
one child policy
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, where couples are
Possible spelling mistake. 'penalised' is British English.
penalised
financially
if they plan more than one child.
Even though
this is a harsh step
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things better, steps like these
are need
of the hour. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
and undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, WHO and UN are already involved in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
programs to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be increased
drastically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
more NGOs should participate in the same to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
around this.

To sum up, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
explosion continues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and the life in the cities will be
immensely
difficult.
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IELTS essay The world is experiencing a dramatic increase in population, This is causing problems not only for poor, undeveloped countries, but also for industrialised and developing nations.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
390 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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