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The villagers had lost a few goats and poultry to a mystery.

The villagers had lost a few goats and poultry to a mystery. J3nKk
The villagers had lost a few goats and poultry to a mystery. The mystery of the missing farm animals spread like a wildfire in the village. Many speculated there were thieves in the village while others suggested a wild beast was on the run. Despite several speculations, the mystery of the disappearances remained unsolved. The whole village was in a state of dismay when the tiger appeared and launched another attack on the village. The prey was not any farm animal this time, it was a young child playing by the barn. The villagers had had enough, they had to put a stop to it once and for all. They organized a group of the bravest men from the village, armed them with shotguns and knives, and planned to attack the tiger. They also took a goat to lure to the tiger in our trap. The plan was to trap the tiger and later kill him. I was amongst the members of the group who left for the jungle late at night. For hours we did not hear anything except the mosquitoes and crickets around us. Then we found paw prints on the muddy ground which assured us of the tiger’s usual trail. Thereupon, as the sun rose we set up a trap using a goat as bait. We were assured that this would catch the tiger immediately. We had almost given up when suddenly around daybreak we heard the bushes rustle and the leaves crackle. All of us shivered to our spines and saw the mystery east coming towards us. We changed our guns and pointed it towards the wild beast. We steadied our guns towards the tiger as he jumped to grab the goat. He fell into the trap. One of the members shot the tiger dead and we rescued the goat safely back to our village. The mission was accomplished. We had killed the wild beast and had emerged successful. It was an amazing hunting trip. One that would always remain in my memory for all time to come.
The villagers had lost a few goats and poultry to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mystery
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mystery
of the missing farm animals spread like a wildfire in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
speculated there were thieves in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
while others suggested a wild beast was on the run. Despite several speculations, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mystery
of the disappearances remained unsolved. The whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
was in a state of dismay when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
appeared and launched another attack on the village.

The prey was not any farm animal this time, it was a young child playing by the barn.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
villagers had had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, they had to put a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
to it once and for all. They organized a group of the bravest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
, armed them with shotguns and knives, and planned to attack the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
. They
also
took a goat to lure to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trap
. The plan was to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trap
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
and later kill him. I was amongst the members of the group who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for the jungle late at night. For
The comma is probably missing here: "hours, we".
hours we
did not hear anything except the mosquitoes and crickets around us. Then we found paw prints on the muddy ground which assured us of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger’s
usual trail.

Thereupon, as the sun rose we set up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trap
using a goat as bait. We
were assured
that this would catch the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
immediately. We had almost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
up when
suddenly
around daybreak we heard the bushes rustle and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
crackle. All of us shivered to our spines and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mystery
east coming towards us. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our guns and pointed it towards the wild beast. We steadied our guns towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
as he jumped to grab the goat. He fell into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trap
. One of the members shot the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tiger
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dead and
we rescued the goat
safely
back to our village.

The mission
was accomplished
. We had killed the wild beast and had emerged successful. It was an amazing hunting trip. One that would always remain in my memory for all time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
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IELTS essay The villagers had lost a few goats and poultry to a mystery.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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