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The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourist visit. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourist visit. 6QNG
Over the last five decades tourism sector developed dramatically although there is a minority of countries who didn’t get affected. Although some people think that tourism only brings minor merits to the countries I believe that there are numerous advantages worth considering. Firstly, countries are catagorized into developed, developing and undeveloped mainly. If we take my hometown Turkey as a sample, it fits to developing country category. Especially for countries who don’t have a powerful economy like Turkey, tourism is an crucial sector for contributing to the income of the country. For instance, Turkey has tempting tours for Arabic tourists in Black Sea region, 5 star hotel tours for German tourists in Mediterrian and different tours for lots of other nationalities. These wide range of tourist groups are all supporting the national economy. Second reason why I am in favour of tourism sector’s growth is that it can help breaking down the prejudices and stereotypes about that country. Witnessing everything from first eye can help tourists to change the hearsays. For example, before I visited Germany I was thinking about German people as cold and distant people. But after I met with my friend group all my prejudices about them were gone. Probably I may not be able to change my idea without meeting sincere people face to face. So from my opinion tourism sector also has a ice breaking role between nations. To sum up, I strongly support that tourism has both economical and cultural benefits to the countries and governments need to support this international industry. I believe that definitely the benefits are outweighing the drawbacks.
Over the last five decades
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
developed
dramatically
although there is a minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
brings minor merits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
I believe that there are numerous advantages worth considering.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
catagorized
into developed, developing and undeveloped
mainly
. If we take my hometown Turkey as a sample, it fits to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
category.
Especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who don’t have a powerful economy like Turkey,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
for contributing to the income of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, Turkey has tempting tours for Arabic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the Black Sea".
in Black Sea
region,
'5 star' is missing a hyphen.
5 star
hotel tours for German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mediterrian
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tours for lots of other nationalities. These wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
groups are all supporting the national economy.

Second reason why I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector’s
growth is that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to break" or "break".
breaking
down the prejudices and stereotypes about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Witnessing everything from
first
eye can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hearsays
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I visited Germany I was thinking about German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
and distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after I met with my friend group all my prejudices about them
were gone
.
Probably
I may not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
without meeting sincere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face to face.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
from my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
also
has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
ice breaking role between nations.

To sum up, I
strongly
support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has both economical and cultural benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
need to support this international industry. I believe that definitely the benefits are outweighing the drawbacks.
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IELTS essay The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourist visit.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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