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the students should learn another language from the beginning of elementary school or not

the students should learn another language from the beginning of elementary school or not al0rX
The ideology of the practical and beneficial education varies from developed countries to developing ones, so that there has been a debate surrounding the fact that whether the students should learn another language from the beginning of elementary school or not. As the regarding issues, there are several benefits as well as drawbacks. The fact that a toddler can learn and understand every language in the world. Hence, one of the advantages is that it will benefit the development of the learners. Because the students have a lot of opportunity to have a deep contact and utilize foreign speech, such students will definitely obtain a clear advancement in their brain and this leads to a fully functional brain of the pupils in the future. Besides, top-tier institutions can take advantage of this tendency to impose several scholarships that can differentiate the potential and gifted children at the early stages since the bilingual learners are more capable in dealing with unusual problems, compared to others. Despite the fact that bilingual person has some good merits, other specialist argued (argue) that studying the second language have (has) considerable good points, that (which) have to take into account. For an illustration, taking Vietnamese schooling, the number of classes which they teach foreign language are much lower compared to the school in other nations. The students, therefore, must focus on other subjects, such as mathematics, native language literature, and so on. They will out-perform others by taking less time in studying foreign language. On the other hand, the pupils apparently will have more leisure time and spend time developing the social skills, since the fewer hours they put into study, the longer their entertaining period will be. In short, this problematic idea certainly has its own plus and minus points. Regarding the futuristic advancement in our world as well as the globalization, the advantages outweigh its disadvantages in long terms.
The ideology of the practical and beneficial education varies from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
to developing ones,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there has been a debate surrounding the fact that whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
from the beginning of elementary school or not. As the regarding issues, there are several benefits
as well
as drawbacks.

The fact that a toddler can learn and understand every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the world.
Hence
, one of the advantages is that it will benefit the development of the learners.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunity to have a deep contact and utilize foreign speech, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will definitely obtain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
advancement in their brain and this leads to a
fully
functional brain of the pupils in the future.
Besides
, top-tier institutions can take advantage of this tendency to impose several scholarships that can differentiate the potential and gifted children at the early stages since the bilingual learners are more capable in dealing with unusual problems, compared to others.

Despite the fact that bilingual person has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
merits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
specialist argued (argue) that studying the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
have (has) considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points, that (which)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take into account. For an illustration, taking Vietnamese schooling, the number of classes which they teach foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are much lower compared to the school in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects, such as mathematics, native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
literature, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They will out-perform others by taking less time in studying foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the pupils
apparently
will have more leisure time and spend time developing the social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, since the fewer hours they put into study, the longer their entertaining period will be.

In short, this problematic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
certainly
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
plus and minus points. Regarding the futuristic advancement in our world
as well
as the globalization, the advantages outweigh its disadvantages in long terms.
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IELTS essay the students should learn another language from the beginning of elementary school or not

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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