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The reading material is talking about the probable reasons of the extinction of the Steller's sea cows.

The reading material is talking about the probable reasons of the extinction of the Steller's sea cows. pRDYy
The reading material is talking about the probable reasons of the extinction of the Steller's sea cows. However, the professor in the listening material believe that we actually do not know what caused the extinction of the sea cows and the reasons in the reading material all have problems. Firstly, the reading thinks that maybe the overhunting on the sea cows by native Siberian people is the reason, for sea cows was a perfect food source to the Siberian people in that harsh environment. So Siberian people could have hunted sea cows a lot and resulted their extinction. Nevertheless, the professor points out that sea cows is a sort of massive creatures, one sea cow can serve as the food of a Siberian village for couple of months. Considering the population of the Siberian people is not very large, their hunting on sea cows could not lead to the extinction. Secondly, the reading holds the view that ecosystems disturbance could make the amount of sea cows' main food source, kelp, to decrease dramaticallly, which can be the reason of the extinction. Nonetheless, the professor proposes that if an ecosystems disturbance did happen, marine animals other than kelp in that area would also diminish. However, fishing record shows that such decreasing has not happened ever, so this can not be the reason of the extinction. Finally, the reading argues that European fur traders with weapons that can quickly kill sea cows can be the reason. These people probably kill the sea cows to extinction only for their profitable fur and they caught the last sea cows. However, the professor shows the fact that the population of sea cows was already quite small when European fur traders arrived that area. Their amount is supposed to be much larger before that time. Therefore, something happened before the arrival of the fur traders caused the decreasing of the sea cows and the traders could not result the extinction.
The
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reading
material is talking about the probable
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reasons
of the
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extinction
of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Steller
's
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sea
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cows
.
However
, the
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professor
in the listening material believe that we actually do not know what caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
and the
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reasons
in the
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reading
material all have problems.

Firstly
, the
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reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that maybe the overhunting on the
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sea
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cows
by native Siberian
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people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
the
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reason
, for
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sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
was a perfect food source to the Siberian
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people
in that harsh environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
Siberian
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people
could have hunted
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sea
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cows
a lot and resulted their
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extinction
.
Nevertheless
, the
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professor
points out that
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sea
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cows
is a sort of massive creatures, one
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sea
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cow
can serve as the food of a Siberian village for
It seems that an article is missing.
couple of
months. Considering the population of the Siberian
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people
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large, their hunting on
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sea
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cows
could not lead to the extinction.

Secondly
, the
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reading
holds the view that
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "ecosystems'" or "ecosystem's"?
ecosystems
disturbance could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the amount of
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sea
cows' main food source, kelp, to decrease
Possible spelling mistake found.
dramaticallly
, which can be the
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reason
of the
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extinction
. Nonetheless, the
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professor
proposes that if an
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "ecosystems'" or "ecosystem's"?
ecosystems
disturbance did happen, marine animals other than kelp in that area would
also
diminish.
However
, fishing record
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that such decreasing has not happened ever,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this can not be the
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reason
of the extinction.

Finally
, the
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reading
argues that European
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fur
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traders
with weapons that can
quickly
kill
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sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
can be the
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reason
. These
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people
probably
kill the
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sea
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cows
to
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extinction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their profitable
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fur and
they caught the last
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sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
.
However
, the
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professor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the fact that the population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
was already quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
when European
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fur
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traders
arrived that area. Their amount
is supposed
to be much larger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that time.
Therefore
, something happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the arrival of the
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fur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traders
caused the decreasing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cows
and the
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traders
could not result the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
.
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IELTS essay The reading material is talking about the probable reasons of the extinction of the Steller's sea cows.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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