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The process about water treatment process

The process about water treatment process q1j3E
The first stage is when raw water from a water plant runs through a filter before treated in a tank by a water softener and chemicals. Next, it is pumped into an area in which electric heaters are used to boil the water, which evaporates through a cooling pipe into large-scale container where carbon dioxide is added the water in the second stage. After that, the water now carbonated enters a tank in which artificial colors, syrup, and flavors were added to mingle with the fizzy water to become tastier using a mixing tool. On the next stage, the mixture is filtered once more time, and then it is filled into bottles and cans of different shapes. Finally, they are packed and loaded into trucks to deliver to supermarkets where is ready to serve to customers.
The
first
stage is when raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
plant runs through a filter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
treated in a tank by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
softener and chemicals.
Next
, it
is pumped
into an area in which electric heaters are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to boil the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, which evaporates through a cooling pipe into large-scale container where carbon dioxide is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in the second stage. After that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
carbonated enters a tank in which artificial colors, syrup, and flavors were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to mingle with the fizzy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to become tastier using a mixing tool. On the
next
stage, the mixture
is filtered
once more time, and then it
is filled
into bottles and cans of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
shapes.
Finally
, they
are packed
and loaded into trucks to deliver to supermarkets where is ready to serve to customers.
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IELTS essay The process about water treatment process

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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