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The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

A section of people hold an opinion that there is an increase in number of reoffences due to inefficient methods of reformation for convicts in penitentiary facility and as a nation that is adopting and accepting globalization with open hands in all aspects we need to reflect on prison systems as well. I this essay I will throw light on some problems causing this phenomenon and possible solutions for the same. To begin with, a lot of ex-convicts are reverting to crime because of lack of proper rehabilitation during their time of imprisonment and counselling and secondly, the social stigma and taboo associated with those who are ex-prisoners. Not only this a lot of individuals who offend in most scenarios are victims of their own demons such as abuse at tender age, physical and sexual violence along with poverty and illiteracy. For instance, recently a wife murdered her husband who have been violating without her consent for years because of which she committed homicide. The solutions of above mentioned problems can be providing psychological therapy sessions with qualified doctors in one on one as well as group will help those who have mental issues which are otherwise sane people. Also a plethora of pupil in correctional facility are illiterates they need to be taught traditional skills and basic education along with moral values so as to survive and reintegrate in society after their tenure. Also government should create awareness campaigns about leaving social stigma that comes with being an ex-prisoner along with some employment opportunities to them. To illustrate, a philanthropist created a NGO which provide ex-criminals a opportunity to work and live a decent life. In the facility they train them in certain hands-on skills so that they can find jobs in factories and other organization. Government should also fund such NGO's and promote such activities. To conclude, even though there are certain measures that government is taking it is our responsibility as well to help people who want to become a better person than they were rather than isolating them in the name of their past mistakes. I strongly advocate every person should be given a second chance to improve their life. Don't you?
A section of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold an opinion that there is an increase in number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffences
due to inefficient methods of reformation for convicts in penitentiary facility and as a nation
that is
adopting and accepting globalization with open hands in all aspects we need to reflect on prison systems
as well
.
Did you mean "If" or is a comma missing ("I,")?
I
this essay I will throw light on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems causing this phenomenon and possible solutions for the same.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
ex-convicts are reverting to crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of proper rehabilitation during their time of imprisonment and counselling and
secondly
, the social stigma and taboo associated with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are ex-prisoners. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
offend in most scenarios are victims of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
demons such as abuse at tender age, physical and sexual violence along with poverty and illiteracy.
For instance
, recently a wife murdered her husband
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have been violating without her consent for years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which she committed homicide.

The solutions of above mentioned problems can be providing psychological therapy sessions with qualified doctors in one on one
as well
as group will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have mental issues which are
otherwise
sane
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
a plethora of pupil in correctional facility are illiterates they need to
be taught
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and basic education along with moral values
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
survive and reintegrate in society after their tenure.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should create awareness campaigns about leaving social stigma that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with being an ex-prisoner along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employment opportunities to them. To illustrate, a philanthropist created
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
NGO which provide ex-criminals
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
opportunity to work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a decent life. In the facility they train them in certain hands-on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can find jobs in factories and other organization.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
also
fund such NGO's and promote such activities.

To conclude
,
even though
there are certain measures that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is taking it is our responsibility
as well
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to become a better person than they were
rather
than isolating them in the name of their past mistakes. I
strongly
advocate every person should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a second chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life. Don't you?
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IELTS essay The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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