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The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue? NrVPN
The present-day approach of imprisonment has not been productive in reducing the crime count. In fact, culprits are making more offences even after they are free from the lockup. This essay elaborates the major challenges faced by prison system and a feasible solutions to prevent them. First and foremost, one of the major problems is considered as corruption and impartial laws. In this context, majority of police officers and other authorities are taking bribe from well-known personalities which make criminals fearless in committing illegal crimes. Also, there is no monitoring system by government which leads to more corruption in the nation. Here, nation is not imposing strict laws to offenders in which they are indirectly supporting criminals to commit huge offences in the society. Next, social stigma is also another issue were felons after releasing from jail where society and neighborhoods are not accepting them. So, the probability of crimes increasing at rapid phase. For example, well-known Bollywood actor from India met with an accident where an innocent person died but still government has not taken any strict actions towards him and got released from prison in less span of the period. As a consequence of the above problems, first the nation should implement strict rules and severe punishments based on priority of crimes. Moreover, every offenders should think seriously before committing any other crimes which ultimately can reduce the crime rates. In addition, the other best solution can be employment opportunities and awareness programs, or counselling can be done to felons. Here, during imprisonment culprits can attend this kind of programs and they get awareness about the importance of life. For instance, recently one incident took place in India where few youngsters committed huge crime against a girl where authority taken strict action against them by giving shootout order. In conclusion, crime rates are increasing at an alarming rate in many countries after releasing them from prison but it can be reduced by implementing solid laws and providing employment to offenders.
The present-day approach of imprisonment has not been productive in reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
count. In fact, culprits are making more
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
even after they are free from the lockup. This essay elaborates the major challenges faced by prison system and a feasible
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "solution"?
solutions
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them.

First
and foremost, one of the major problems
is considered
as corruption and impartial laws. In this context, majority of police officers and other authorities are taking bribe from well-known personalities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
criminals fearless in committing illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Also
, there is no monitoring system by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
which leads to more corruption in the nation. Here, nation is not imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
laws to offenders in which they are
indirectly
supporting criminals to commit huge
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
in the society.
Next
, social stigma is
also
another issue were felons after releasing from jail where society and neighborhoods are not accepting them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the probability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
increasing at rapid phase.
For example
, well-known Bollywood actor from India met with an accident where an innocent person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has not taken any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
actions towards him and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
released from prison in less span of the period.

As a consequence of the above problems,
first
the nation should implement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and severe punishments based on priority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Moreover
, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "offender"?
offenders
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
seriously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
committing any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
which
ultimately
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.
In addition
, the other best solution can be employment opportunities and awareness programs, or counselling can
be done
to felons. Here, during imprisonment culprits can attend this kind of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
programs and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
awareness about the importance of life.
For instance
, recently one incident took place in India where few youngsters committed huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
against a girl where authority taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strict
action against them by giving shootout order.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates are increasing at an alarming rate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries after releasing them from prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by implementing solid laws and providing employment to offenders.
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IELTS essay The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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