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The Philippine economy is suported greatly by foreign exchange remittances of overseas filipino worers. it is therefore right for the philippine government to make the export of philippine labor its primary program. do you agree or disagree.

The Philippine economy is suported greatly by foreign exchange remittances of overseas filipino worers. it is therefore right for the philippine government to make the export of philippine labor its primary program. 5baPV
Philippine government has been allowing our fellow Filipino to be deployed in all corners of the world. From blue collar jobs up to white collar jobs definitely there will be a Filipino employed. We couldn’t deny the fact that our country is in crisis until this very day, as a result shortage of employment status is inflating. Since we categorically belong to the third world country exporting laborers is another way for our homeland to arise from poverty and to continually manage the trading industry business. In that case one of our country’s source of income, is from the foreign currency exchange made through remittances transaction. Opposing to this matter, I firmly believe that administration should impose another program for the economic stability of this country. Presently there are myriad of overseas Filipino workers across the globe, as an outcome our own native land is having its own employment scarcity. Most of our fellow countrymen who’s employed abroad are professionals and it is evident that this type of jobs is one of the most essential occupation in our country. It is with convincing power that government organization should focus on how fellow Filipinos would develop their careers here in our own birth land, it would be a big of help to the whole nation. Another point to consider, our country is well known for beautiful natural resources and pristine virgin waters therefore tourism sector is one of the best thing that our government should concentrate and improve because this will be our ticket to have a better and sustainable economic state. There are various ways in order for our economic industry to augment and it is with conviction that it’s not the exportation of laborers that the Philippines should prioritize rather give importance to what it has and what it will gain in the future.
Philippine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has been allowing our fellow Filipino to
be deployed
in all corners of the world. From blue collar jobs up to white collar jobs definitely there will be a Filipino employed. We couldn’t deny the fact that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is in crisis until this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
day,
as a result
shortage of employment status is inflating. Since we
categorically
belong to the third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
exporting laborers is another way for our homeland to arise from poverty and to
continually
manage the trading industry business.
In that case
one of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
source of income, is from the foreign currency exchange made through
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "remittances'" or "remittance's"?
remittances
transaction. Opposing to this matter, I
firmly
believe that administration should impose another program for the economic stability of this country.

Presently
there are myriad of overseas Filipino workers across the globe, as an outcome our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
native land is having its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
employment scarcity. Most of our fellow countrymen who’s employed abroad are professionals and it is evident that this type of jobs is one of the most essential
Please check whether a plural form of 'occupation' should be used.
occupation
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is with convincing power that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organization should focus on how fellow Filipinos would develop their careers here in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
birth land, it would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the whole nation.

Another point to consider, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is well known for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
natural resources and pristine virgin waters
therefore
tourism sector is one of the best thing that our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should concentrate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will be our ticket to have a better and sustainable economic state.

There are various ways in order for our economic industry to augment and it is with conviction that it’s not the exportation of laborers that the Philippines should prioritize
rather
give importance to what it has and what it will gain in the future.
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IELTS essay The Philippine economy is suported greatly by foreign exchange remittances of overseas filipino worers. it is therefore right for the philippine government to make the export of philippine labor its primary program.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The Philippine economy is suported greatly by foreign exchange remittances of overseas filipino worers. it is therefore right for the philippine government to make the export of philippine labor its primary program. do you agree or disagree.