Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the pace of business and technology is steadily increasing, suggesting that people need to not only keep up, but to stay ahead of the competition if they want to survive and succeed. This is a great source of stress for many people. what are some ways people can relieve this stress while remaining competitive in the workplace?

the pace of business and technology is steadily increasing, suggesting that people need to not only keep up, but to stay ahead of the competition if they want to survive and succeed. This is a great source of stress for many people. what are some ways people can relieve this stress while remaining competitive in the workplace? qVWJp
The modern workplace has become very demanding, with people constantly challenged to work harder and learn things faster in order to maintain an edge over their peers. Unsurprisingly, many workers suffer immense stress from this. I believe, however, that people can mitigate this stress by exercising more and having some "alone time". Sports are a great way to release pent-up energy while engaging in friendly, skill-building competition. This physical activity allows one to relieve stress in a focused way while honing skills such as strategizing, teamwork, and perseverance, all of which can be applied toward one's career. Baseball, for instance, involves running and throwing, actions that utilize muscles that are otherwise dormant while sitting in an office chair. It also encourages cooperation with teammates, quite unlike the politics and competition one might face at the office. A person who can thus manage his stress can then apply these tools at work to feel relaxed and be productive. That being said, being continually surrounded by others can also be stressful. A good way to escape the pressures of social interaction is to take some time for oneself. A person can read, go for a walk, or spend quality time with family. Doing this allows the mind to ease the tension accumulated all week. For example, if a person spent time with family, he would be more relaxed. Furthermore, a person can concentrate on his personal obligations rather than focus solely on the companies. Ultimately, a person content with his own life will be a much greater help to his employer. In conclusion, a happy and satisfied person will better contribute to work because he can focus on his job and not feel pressured all the time. He will not only have an easier life, but he will also be more likely to succeed in his career.
The modern workplace has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
demanding, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
constantly
challenged to work harder and learn things faster in order to maintain an edge over their peers.
Unsurprisingly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers suffer immense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
from this. I believe,
however
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can mitigate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
by exercising more and having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
alone time
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.

Sports are a great way to release pent-up energy while engaging in friendly,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
-building competition. This physical activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
one to relieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in a focused way while honing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as strategizing, teamwork, and perseverance, all of which can
be applied
toward one's career. Baseball,
for instance
, involves running and throwing, actions that utilize muscles that are
otherwise
dormant while sitting in an office chair. It
also
encourages cooperation with teammates, quite unlike the politics and competition one might face at the office. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who can
thus
manage his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
can then apply these tools at work to feel relaxed and be productive.

That
being said
, being
continually
surrounded by others can
also
be stressful. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to escape the pressures of social interaction is to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for oneself. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can read, go for a walk, or spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family. Doing this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the mind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the tension accumulated all week.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family, he would be more relaxed.
Furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can concentrate on his personal obligations
rather
than focus
solely
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
Ultimately
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
content with his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life will be a much greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to his employer.

In conclusion
, a happy and satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
will better contribute to work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he can focus on his job and not feel pressured all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. He will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have an easier life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he will
also
be more likely to succeed in his career.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay the pace of business and technology is steadily increasing, suggesting that people need to not only keep up, but to stay ahead of the competition if they want to survive and succeed. This is a great source of stress for many people. what are some ways people can relieve this stress while remaining competitive in the workplace?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts