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Most of people believe that university tuition fees should not be free for students.this is at odds with my belife for two reason

Most of people believe that university tuition fees should not be free for students. this is at odds with my belife for two reason qVWXp
First and foremost, The student who enter to the universities, have made an efforts so much for getting such a permission. they have studied hard and so they have to continue their endeavor after entrance to university for improving their scientific level and experiences if they want to become a creative person for their country. Having mental disturbance for the university tuition fees, causes inadequate concentration on their original purpose. Second, monetary universities, do not let to poor but talented students to get chance for entering and doing higher education at the universities because they cannot provide financial resources to study at that level. All in all, To increasing the efficiency of high level education in a country, governments must pay the fees by themselves.
First
and foremost, The student who enter to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, have made
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an effort" or simply "efforts"?
an efforts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much for getting such a permission.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
have studied
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hard and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
continue their endeavor after entrance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for improving their scientific level and experiences if they want to become a creative person for their country. Having mental disturbance for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
tuition fees, causes inadequate concentration on their original purpose. Second, monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
to poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
talented students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance for entering and doing higher education at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot provide financial resources to study at that level. All in all, To increasing the efficiency of high level education in a country,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay the fees by themselves.

IELTS essay Most of people believe that university tuition fees should not be free for students. this is at odds with my belife for two reason

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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