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The original sentences are too personal, too informal and sound too simple for an essay. Use the key phrase in CAPITALS to complete the second sentence so that it means the same as the first sentence. Try to completely change the original sentence while retaining the same basic message.

The original sentences are too personal, too informal and sound too simple for an essay. Use the key phrase in CAPITALS to complete the second sentence so that it means the same as the first sentence. Try to completely change the original sentence while retaining the same basic message. QMep1
Nobody would dispute the fact that many programs on television include violent scenes, especially action and horror movies. I hold the view that they should not be allowed, however many people disagree with this opinion. In this essay, I will discuss both sides and give reasons for my opinion. Firstly, research suggests that people who watch violent programs and play violent computer games may worry more about their own safety, which can lead to problems in society. For instance, when people are worried about their safety, they are more likely to react aggressively towards strangers. Secondly, few people would contest that some children copy what they see on television and in computer games. Hence, if they are watching and interacting with violence on a daily basis it is likely that they will copy this type of behavior. Finally, there are more beneficial activities that children could be participating in such as playing a sport or reading a book. However, there are those who argue that violence is not something we learn from television and computer games. For example, nobody would contest the fact that there were murders before television and videogames were invented. In addition, it is often claimed that children cannot watch violent programs and play inappropriate videogames easily. For instance, there are restrictions for some programs and games, and many parents do not allow their children to watch television after a certain time. To conclude, although there are some reasonable arguments against higher restrictions on violent videogames and programs for children, there can be no doubt that the potential disadvantages of children copying what they see and hear in these programs and games far outweigh the advantages of having free access to them. Furthermore, current restrictions are ineffective and easy to ignore. Therefore, governments and local institutions should do more to promote alternative activities and to engage young people in their local communities from an early age. Superingenious. com
Nobody would dispute the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on television

include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
scenes,
especially
action and horror movies. I hold the view

that they should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with this

opinion. In this essay, I will discuss both sides and give reasons for my

opinion.

Firstly
, research suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
programs

and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may worry more about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
safety,

which can lead to problems in society.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are worried
about their safety, they are more likely to react
aggressively


towards strangers.
Secondly
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would contest that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some


children copy what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Hence
,

if they are watching and interacting with violence on a daily basis it is

likely that they will copy this type of behavior.
Finally
, there are more

beneficial activities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could be participating in such as playing a

sport or reading a book.

However
, there are those who argue that violence is not something

we learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
For example
, nobody would

contest the fact that there were murders
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
videogames


were invented
.
In addition
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
claimed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch


violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and play inappropriate
Possible spelling mistake found.
videogames
easily
.
For instance
,

there are restrictions for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents do

not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
after a certain time.

To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable arguments against

higher restrictions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
Possible spelling mistake found.
videogames
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, there

can be no doubt that the potential disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
copying what

they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and hear in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
far outweigh the advantages

of having free access to them.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
restrictions are

ineffective and easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and local

institutions should do more to promote alternative activities and to engage

young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their local communities from an early age.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Superingenious
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
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IELTS essay The original sentences are too personal, too informal and sound too simple for an essay. Use the key phrase in CAPITALS to complete the second sentence so that it means the same as the first sentence. Try to completely change the original sentence while retaining the same basic message.

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The original sentences are too personal, too informal and sound too simple for an essay. Use the key phrase in CAPITALS to complete the second sentence so that it means the same as the first sentence. Try to completely change the original sentence while retaining the same basic message.