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The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Indeed, traffic congestion is increasing owing to excessive use of vehicles by individuals. Although a breed of people deem that in a number of countries accidents are occurring due to the fact of careless driving so they believe that the only way to improve the safety for denizens is imposing the stringent punishments. However, I disagree the strict punishments can reduce the large number of accidents. I assert that other steps can be taken to improve this issue. To commence with, numerous road accidents are caused by lack of proper development of the roads. Although, government is working on infrastructure of roads but, a number of roads are still under progress, Therefore, it can cause accidents and punishment to drivers is not a justice for them. For instance, drivers are not responsible for accidents if they are unaware about the renovation of the roads. Moreover, lack of proper signs on the roads can occur accidents. Traffic signs play a crucial role in driving. These signs can help drivers to be alert in a specific area. Furthermore, weather conditions can be the reason of accidents and in such situations drivers are not liable for punishments. For example, fog, sudden rain and slippy roads due to rain are cause more than 40 percent accidents. Apart from that, animal crossing during the driving is become a reason of road happenings. To exemplify, animals may cross their way without any restriction of anyone. But to punish drivers is not the convenient way for such cases. Additionally, tire blowouts also may be a cause of highway accidents. Hence, accidents are occurred due to unusual tire system, but vehicle runners are not guilty to have the punishment. To conclude, although authorities are finding ways to improve the safety on roads by punishing drivers. on the contrary there are numerous cases when drivers are not actually responsible for the happenings on roads. It can reduce by putting a number of steps among road safety and not only insist on strict punishment of drivers.
Indeed
, traffic congestion is increasing owing to excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of vehicles by individuals. Although a breed of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deem that in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are occurring due to the fact of careless driving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the safety for denizens is imposing the stringent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
.
However
, I disagree the strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. I assert that other steps can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this issue.

To commence with, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are caused
by lack of proper development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. Although,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is working on infrastructure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are
still
under progress,
Therefore
, it can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
is not a justice for them.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
are not responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
if they are unaware about the renovation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
Moreover
, lack of proper signs on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
can occur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. Traffic signs play a crucial role in driving. These signs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
to be alert in a specific area.

Furthermore
, weather conditions can be the reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and in such situations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
are not liable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
.
For example
, fog, sudden rain and slippy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
due to rain are cause more than 40 percent accidents.

Apart from that, animal crossing during the driving
is become
a reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
happenings. To exemplify, animals may cross their way without any restriction of anyone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
is not the convenient way for such cases.
Additionally
, tire blowouts
also
may be a cause of highway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are occurred
due to unusual tire system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
vehicle runners are not guilty to have the punishment.

To conclude
, although authorities are finding ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the safety on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
by punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the contrary there are numerous cases when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
are not actually responsible for the happenings on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
by putting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of steps among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
insist on strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
.
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IELTS essay The only way to improve the safety on our own road is to have stricter punishment for driving offenders.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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