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The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is sometimes argued that traditional behaviour and lifestyle which are favoured by old age people are not playing any role in young people lives for their development in this modern time of technology. So I completely agree with this statement. To begin with, firstly, nowadays life has changed dramatically due to technology developments and globalization. Old people's ethics have nothing to do with this modern time. In past, our ancestors used to live in joint family systems where they lived very restricted and limited lives. However, independent young minds are necessary for more developments of a society. For instance, in old times, people have limited ideas, marketing skills and place for trading but now young people have updated business skills and they can easily expand their trading business accross the world. Secondly, It is also argued that conventional mindsets restricted the youngster's brain. In old times, our forefathers did not pay any attention to women rights which the Islam has given them. Therefore, it is a most important for young people to not follow the outdated ethics. For example, in our past, parents were forced their daughters for marriage where they were agreed. Although, in the Islam, it is not right way. Now people understand this so rate of divorce and honor killing is less as compared to before. To conclude, old ethics should be ignored because it can not help in making our teens the productive member of a society.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that traditional
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and lifestyle which are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not playing any role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
lives
for their development in this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
firstly
, nowadays life has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
due to technology developments and globalization.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's ethics have nothing to do with this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Did you mean: "In the past"?
In past
, our ancestors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in joint family systems where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
restricted and limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
minds are necessary for more developments of a society.
For instance
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have limited
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, marketing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and place for trading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have updated business
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
skills and
they can
easily
expand their trading business
Possible spelling mistake found.
accross
the world.

Secondly
, It is
also
argued that conventional mindsets restricted the youngster's brain. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, our forefathers did not pay any attention to women rights which the Islam has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
them.
Therefore
, it is a most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to not follow the outdated ethics.
For example
, in our past, parents
were forced
their daughters for marriage where they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
. Although, in the Islam, it is not
Please check whether an article is missing: "a right".
right
way.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rate of divorce and honor killing is less
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
ethics should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in making our teens the productive member of a society.
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IELTS essay The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. with this view?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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